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Tricky situation...

billy_sp

Hi. I was wondering if anyone had any experiences with an undiagnosed autistic partner who reacted in an extreme way to the suggestion that neuro-diversity could be the source of relationship problems.

And I do mean extreme. As in life changing extreme.

And by neuro-diversity in this case I mean two quite different iterations of autism itself, rather than ASD-NT. But would be glad to hear anyone's experience.

I'm not officially diagnosed but it has been strongly suggested that I am autistic by a psychiatrist and CPN. I would tend to agree, as it makes sense of my life. In every way.

I'm currently on sick leave and experiencing what I imagine is quite a severe autistic burnout and depression.

So far it's been helpful to read here that other people are experiencing similar difficulties and still have hope for themselves and support from other people.

The local CMHT has been a source of support to me, mainly owing to my having a wonderful CPN. They do exist!

Thanks for reading.

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    I take it that you mean that you and your partner are probably both on the spectrum but have some different traits and challenges? We are all different, and just because two people are both ND doesn't mean that a relationship will be easy, of course.

    I am in an ND-ND relationship, neither formally diagnosed, and I understand that it can be difficult to support your partner's needs while looking after your own. But don't give up, we're still together after 48 years!

    If there is a way of rebuilding your relationship, I suggest that you don't mention that your partner seems to be autistic, just focus on what you each need. Don't bring up any possibly contentious topics when your partner is stressed or distracted, and focus on the positives and what things you share.

    I wish you both well.

Reply

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    I take it that you mean that you and your partner are probably both on the spectrum but have some different traits and challenges? We are all different, and just because two people are both ND doesn't mean that a relationship will be easy, of course.

    I am in an ND-ND relationship, neither formally diagnosed, and I understand that it can be difficult to support your partner's needs while looking after your own. But don't give up, we're still together after 48 years!

    If there is a way of rebuilding your relationship, I suggest that you don't mention that your partner seems to be autistic, just focus on what you each need. Don't bring up any possibly contentious topics when your partner is stressed or distracted, and focus on the positives and what things you share.

    I wish you both well.

Children
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