Struggling with the idea of ageing and death as someone who really struggles with change

This hits so hard. Even as a child, I used to cry at birthdays because it meant I was getting older and things wouldn't be the same. I'd panic every time I found something new that I liked, because of the idea that one day it might get ripped away. I understand your struggles with this—it's hard to repeatedly re-establish baseline, only for something completely out of your control to come and sweep you off your feet. Housing, finances, and especially loss and death.

Growing up, I had very, very little I ever had control over, and I began finding comfort in the little things in life, and stopped thinking about the big questions a while back. This sounds so silly, but I like to hold onto the smallest things in life. I've always loved texture, and so no matter where I go, I have a blanket locked and loaded and I try to find the smallest corner of every space to establish as my own. I always carry two sets of headphones. I always fill up my water bottle and have my keys physically strapped to my person, but it's not really enough to deal with the hard questions.

I am a woman of mild faith, and I don't know your relationship to religion, and so I won't try to presume anything, but the only thing I've found to do is find comfort in the moment, in the smallest things, and lean on hope for the rest.

Still, it's an individual struggle. We're here for you.

This hits so hard. Even as a child, I used to cry at birthdays because it meant I was getting older and things wouldn't be the same. I'd panic every time I found something new that I liked, because of the idea that one day it might get ripped away. I understand your struggles with this—it's hard to repeatedly re-establish baseline, only for something completely out of your control to come and sweep you off your feet. Housing, finances, and especially loss and death.

Growing up, I had very, very little I ever had control over, and I began finding comfort in the little things in life, and stopped thinking about the big questions a while back. This sounds so silly, but I like to hold onto the smallest things in life. I've always loved texture, and so no matter where I go, I have a blanket locked and loaded and I try to find the smallest corner of every space to establish as my own. I always carry two sets of headphones. I always fill up my water bottle and have my keys physically strapped to my person, but it's not really enough to deal with the hard questions.

I am a woman of mild faith, and I don't know your relationship to religion, and so I won't try to presume anything, but the only thing I've found to do is find comfort in the moment, in the smallest things, and lean on hope for the rest.

Still, it's an individual struggle. We're here for you.