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Loop of regret

Alien0n3arth

I feel regret, that I booked the assessment. It's gonna be 29.10 the first session. But I know, that I I cancelled it- I would feel regret that I cancelled. Sometimes I regret that it all even started, that I know more about autism and there is the suspicion. Like it affects my mental health in some ways. Sorry, I don't know if anyone can help anything. I worry, that if I get the diagnosis, my mental health will get even worse. At some point i hope to hear, that it's something else, and not autism. I would like to have it done and at the same time I would like to avoid going there at all. If it makes any sense. Now I think, that I just convinced myself, thst I need a diagnosis and for what reason but as I can see it's likely gonna sit in the drawer and not give me any advantage. I feel guilty of being attention seeker although it's not my intention at all. It's all because of the huge debate around autism and neurodiversity. 

Parents

  • For me, it was necessary to know, and so I willingly sought diagnosis.  That demonstrates that we are all unique in our wants and needs, and you must do what works for you.  In my case, I felt very strange after getting a formal diagnosis; suspicion and confirmation are entirely different things, it turns out, so I have had around six weeks of processing.  

    I will say that it was a good thing for me; getting it confirmed settled so many things in my mind, and now I am seeing things through a different 'lens' and finding that it has helped.  So, I would say that it is a good thing to do, but you should be gentle on yourself and not expect things to change in some way with a diagnosis.  Change will come from within you as you process it.  Good luck.

  • in reply to Iago

    Yes, and the point is that after a diagnosis, Alien0n3arth will be able to move forward, maybe stumbling at first but gradually improving. At the moment, it must feel like being in suspended animation, with no plan to follow.

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