Difficult situation

Looks like my diagnosis,  even if the diagnosis is autism positive- not gonna help me much. And nit gonna have much value. Here, in Germany if one gets a diagnosis from a qualified psychologist, private and pays by themselves,  it's viewed as "not serious", being questioned by officials,  not gonna give much possibilities such as access to therapies support etc. The only serious diagnosis is being given by a clinic, and it's all good. But the problem (for me) is that they require a family member to be your informant. Not a friend who knows you since childhood. Must be patent or older sibling / other person, who rose you. If one does not meet the criteria, this path is for them closed. And it's me. So wether someone receives help depends not on the fact that they need it to improve the quality of life. It depends only on the possibility to prove it. My mom laughs my problems off, does not take me ever seriously and lies a lot. She is the last person I would ask for such a help. My father... did something awful to me in my childhood. I won't mention it here, it's a story for a PTSD forum. I used to have some contact with him some time ago, to which I was pushed by my mom. Someone from tge family informed him, that I have a daughter. My mom days it wasn't her, but I somehow don't believe her. I refused him to have contact with my daughter in order to protect her from awful things that happened to me. She is my absolute priority and I won't ever let anyone hurt her. There was a moment when my father wrote me an email where he described his I was as a baby snd toddler. For a short moment I had an idea, that maybe he could be my informant (despite the language barrier)- I'm an immigrant in Germany and my family does not speak the language. So i would probably had to hire a translator, if the assessors even agreed to process with me.

I heard, that a diagnosis from a psychologist must be confirmed by other doctor (psychiatrist/ neurologist) my doctor has a pain management and psychotherapy. I have no idea, if I go anywhere with all this. I decided that I don't care, even if it turns out, that the psychologist can not confirm the diagnosis due to missing documentation (yes, mommy thank you for throwing it out), I will not reach out to my father for any help. I don't want to lock myself in toxic relationship with manipulative parents. I'm not sure if the psychologist gonna take my correspondence with my father seriously,  anyone could actually prepare it kinda... I don't know. I think something should change in the diagnostic process. If I don't qualify for the help, that seems to be for "privileged " then I know, what will happen again. I will hear again, "oh its just a depression,  here is a pill for you" just smile more and talk to people etc. 

I'm sorry for this long rant, I'm frustrated, feeling heavy and helpless. I'm gonna make another lego story I think. This site improves my wellbeing greatly. If I get treated badly by people here in Germany then I will stop seeking any help. 

Parents
  • I am sorry to hear this A.

    There is little to no support here in England, irrespective of whether the diagnosis was privately paid for or through the National Health Service.

    Mine was NHS via a private clinic, and I was offered nothing.

    I had no-one speak on my behalf as an 'informant'.

    The only difference it might make is if I were working and the employer took seriously my request for modifications in the workplace.

    The diagnosis might be good for you to know, irrespective of where it comes from.

  • Thank you for mentioning the work. Tge situation in my team is unstable. I get asked more and more often, why I don't drive. I have to explain every single time what are my issues with it and noone seems to understand.  I need a professional help and in written to be able to prove it and to be left in peace. Also I'm hoping for some support in searching job in case if necessary. Otherwise I receive so far help with parenting because of support from tge nursery. It turns out I really don't get with which tone my daughter talks to me. I was amazed to hear from that lady, that my daughter behaved naughty towards me, the tone how she spoke was arrogant as the lady said. I had no idea zbput it. So if course I fail to react as I don't recognise it. I'm bot living alone currently,  so I don't need help with doing necessary things. Or I can say otherwise- I do get this support from my husband. I don't need anyone from outside to get involved in my daily life. But I would like to have access to local support group. So I would like my diagnosis to be taken seriously and not just fashion from tiktok... just because I pay privately. I have no issues with paying for the diagnostic process. 

Reply
  • Thank you for mentioning the work. Tge situation in my team is unstable. I get asked more and more often, why I don't drive. I have to explain every single time what are my issues with it and noone seems to understand.  I need a professional help and in written to be able to prove it and to be left in peace. Also I'm hoping for some support in searching job in case if necessary. Otherwise I receive so far help with parenting because of support from tge nursery. It turns out I really don't get with which tone my daughter talks to me. I was amazed to hear from that lady, that my daughter behaved naughty towards me, the tone how she spoke was arrogant as the lady said. I had no idea zbput it. So if course I fail to react as I don't recognise it. I'm bot living alone currently,  so I don't need help with doing necessary things. Or I can say otherwise- I do get this support from my husband. I don't need anyone from outside to get involved in my daily life. But I would like to have access to local support group. So I would like my diagnosis to be taken seriously and not just fashion from tiktok... just because I pay privately. I have no issues with paying for the diagnostic process. 

Children
  • But I would like to have access to local support group.

    Are you sure you wouldn't still be able to with a private diagnosis?  You can still do so here.

    My diagnosis would be questioned by some as it was done by a private clinic (via the NHS) and online rather than actually being done in person by NHS clinicians.

    There will always be doubters and to a degree I will always doubt myself.