Struggling, advice needed

Need support - long read

I'm 25 and autistic. I was diagnosed at 19, and I think as I'm getting older, I'm finding things harder. I have had lots of back and forth with the doctors the past year about why I am so anxious, angry and having very negative thoughts and feelings. 

I do have anxiety and depression, but the doctor has even said things to me like bipolar disorder and BDP, and if that is what's wrong, I just want help, however, every time I get so far into a service, they tell me 'im just autistic' or 'its just anxiety' and I'm at the wrong place. The thing is, if it is 'just' autism, I'm still really struggling. 

I had 3 panic attacks/overwhelmed moments yesterday. I cannot have a conversation with another adult, I cannot talk to people I don't know. I struggle to speak up for myself, I struggle to understand what others need and I take my anger and sadness out on those who care about me.

I just feel like I've hit my capacity of understanding, but unfortunately, the world doesn't stop with me. People see a 25 year old woman, not a 12 year old girl, which is sometimes how I feel. Sorry if that sounds strange, but that's the best way I can explain it; emotionally, socially and mentally, I feel over 10 years younger than what I actually am. 

Yet I'm here able to explain it because in moments of clarity and with the way the world is, I can't take a long to feel that way, society, family, work and friends don't make that possible.

I really need some support. I'm UK based and need a therapist or autism specialist to talk to, preferably through the NHS as I don't earn a lot. If anyone can offer any advice, I'd appreciate it. 

Parents
  • Hello  tish5892

    Thank you for the detailed response, putting down our thoughts and posting them takes a lot of courage.

    I can understand your frustration here - at the end of the day, you are a human being with very real feelings and experiences - it  sounds difficult to experience your desperate calls for help refused - I have certainly experienced my fair share of dismissal, it really is quite shattering.

    as  profdanger (dangergramps) has mentioned, while we cannot provide direct medical advice in order to ensure the safety of all involved with our forum, the NAS community is a fantastic place to share experiences and resources.

    Having read through your post, I wonder if any of the following NAS resources might prove helpful?

    Autism Services Directory - This lists services around the UK, some of which may include autistic centric therapies.

    Samaritans | Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy | Here to listen - A free listening service.

    Shout: The UK's free, confidential, 24/7 mental health text service | Shout 85258 - A free listening service.

    Mental health - Our guides to Mental Health related conditions, containing links and resources to further support

    Talking therapies - NHS - Talking based therapies offered through the NHS.

    You have every right to be a person you can feel comfortable being, you truly deserve the best in this situation.

    Thanks - Zac Mod.

Reply
  • Hello  tish5892

    Thank you for the detailed response, putting down our thoughts and posting them takes a lot of courage.

    I can understand your frustration here - at the end of the day, you are a human being with very real feelings and experiences - it  sounds difficult to experience your desperate calls for help refused - I have certainly experienced my fair share of dismissal, it really is quite shattering.

    as  profdanger (dangergramps) has mentioned, while we cannot provide direct medical advice in order to ensure the safety of all involved with our forum, the NAS community is a fantastic place to share experiences and resources.

    Having read through your post, I wonder if any of the following NAS resources might prove helpful?

    Autism Services Directory - This lists services around the UK, some of which may include autistic centric therapies.

    Samaritans | Every life lost to suicide is a tragedy | Here to listen - A free listening service.

    Shout: The UK's free, confidential, 24/7 mental health text service | Shout 85258 - A free listening service.

    Mental health - Our guides to Mental Health related conditions, containing links and resources to further support

    Talking therapies - NHS - Talking based therapies offered through the NHS.

    You have every right to be a person you can feel comfortable being, you truly deserve the best in this situation.

    Thanks - Zac Mod.

Children
  • Lol does it still show that I’m dangergramps to the mods? That’s funny. I changed it to profdanger because while my close friends are all younger than me, here it seems like everyone is older than me. That’s not an issue, I just think that’s funny y’all can still see my original name!