• Replies 6 replies
  • Subscribers 10 subscribers
  • Views 167 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

"That's not a valid excuse"

Mac78321

Has anyone ever been told, " That's not an excuse"?

If so, what is your reaction? Or response? And how does it make you feel?

I was told that recently, after talking about a project I'm working on, I don't want to go too much into it.  I was talking to the head of the department, and they said, " That's not a valid excuse" I was very confused about it, and then I said, "I know it's not an excuse; it's the truth" Not sure what else to say to that, 

I'm interested to know what you would do in that situation 

Parents

  • My response would be, 'Why do you think that? Do you want me to clarify?' At work, it might be to do with a rule they haven't properly explained, or that they don't understand your response. You could add, if appropriate, 'that feels like you are criticising me.' People don't always realize the impact of what they are saying.

    I remember as a young teen at school asking mother to write a note excusing me from PE because I had a period. The form mistress said, 'you can't cry off all your life.' I felt shamed, but had no reason to. This was a personal judgement and this teacher abusing her power. What she ought to have done is asked about my symptoms, see if I needed medical support [thus showing empathy]. She might have talked of resilience without the implied suggestion I was, 'trying it on' There were many put-downs by various teachers from this so-called Church of England school, including poking fun at my weight in front of other pupils. Clearly, they were in want of being taught ethics.

Reply

  • My response would be, 'Why do you think that? Do you want me to clarify?' At work, it might be to do with a rule they haven't properly explained, or that they don't understand your response. You could add, if appropriate, 'that feels like you are criticising me.' People don't always realize the impact of what they are saying.

    I remember as a young teen at school asking mother to write a note excusing me from PE because I had a period. The form mistress said, 'you can't cry off all your life.' I felt shamed, but had no reason to. This was a personal judgement and this teacher abusing her power. What she ought to have done is asked about my symptoms, see if I needed medical support [thus showing empathy]. She might have talked of resilience without the implied suggestion I was, 'trying it on' There were many put-downs by various teachers from this so-called Church of England school, including poking fun at my weight in front of other pupils. Clearly, they were in want of being taught ethics.

Children