It's around one month to my assessment and the "what if" kicked in. I don't care much about diagnosis, but I can't imagine myself not belonging here. This online community has done great at improving my mental health. I can't imagine how much I would cry if it turns out, this place is not for me, because I'm not autistic.
Otherwise I need a doctor to state on a paper, why I shouldn't drive a car (pushing at work because my manager resigned)
I constantly have problems processing information and people often get annoyed or somehow worried about me reacting with delay.
I collected as much documentation as possible. I was going to request a copy of one examination that was done 18 years ago, they keep it up to 20 years after the examination. Then they destroy it. The problem is that I don't remember exactly what was the name of this examination, date, I only know in which clinic and can only write the year. Tge only person, who could help me with the information is my mom, but I wouldn't trust her words because she lies and gaslight a lot. I already found examples of her twisting everything.
I'm sorry for this rant. Maybe i dont deserve the privilege of belonging here. My little friends helped me calm down a little.
