The "what if" kicked in

It's around one month to my assessment and the "what if" kicked in. I don't care much about diagnosis,  but I can't imagine myself not belonging here. This online community has done great at improving my mental health. I can't imagine how much I would cry if it turns out, this place is not for me, because I'm not autistic. 

Otherwise I need a doctor to state on a paper, why I shouldn't drive a car (pushing at work because my manager resigned)

I constantly have problems processing information and people often get annoyed or somehow worried about me reacting with delay.

I collected as much documentation as possible.  I was going to request a copy of one examination that was done 18 years ago,  they keep it up to 20 years after the examination. Then they destroy it. The problem is that I don't remember exactly what was the name of this examination,  date, I only know in which clinic and can only write the year. Tge only person, who could help me with the information is my mom, but I wouldn't trust her words because she lies and gaslight a lot. I already found examples of her twisting everything. 

I'm sorry for this rant. Maybe i dont deserve the privilege of belonging here. My little friends helped me calm down a little. 

Parents
  • I don't have a formal diagnosis, and I've been a member of this community since 2017, so don't worry - whatever the result is, you will still be very welcome here. You are a valued member of the forum.

  • you will still be very welcome here. You are a valued member of the forum.

    Totally agree. I love your paintings and model scenarios. I was 'briefly' diagnosed by a counsellor, then a consultant Psychiatrist, age 54. It wasn't what many call,'proper' diagnosis [whatever that means] but the fact is, I FEEL comfortable and at home in this community. If you like, I adopted it! So, don't be over-concerned about diagnosis in the matter of belonging here - it's where you feel at home, safe, happy and fulfilled that's more important.

Reply
  • you will still be very welcome here. You are a valued member of the forum.

    Totally agree. I love your paintings and model scenarios. I was 'briefly' diagnosed by a counsellor, then a consultant Psychiatrist, age 54. It wasn't what many call,'proper' diagnosis [whatever that means] but the fact is, I FEEL comfortable and at home in this community. If you like, I adopted it! So, don't be over-concerned about diagnosis in the matter of belonging here - it's where you feel at home, safe, happy and fulfilled that's more important.

Children