• Replies 29 replies
  • Subscribers 10 subscribers
  • Views 632 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

The "what if" kicked in

Alien0n3arth

It's around one month to my assessment and the "what if" kicked in. I don't care much about diagnosis,  but I can't imagine myself not belonging here. This online community has done great at improving my mental health. I can't imagine how much I would cry if it turns out, this place is not for me, because I'm not autistic. 

Otherwise I need a doctor to state on a paper, why I shouldn't drive a car (pushing at work because my manager resigned)

I constantly have problems processing information and people often get annoyed or somehow worried about me reacting with delay.

I collected as much documentation as possible.  I was going to request a copy of one examination that was done 18 years ago,  they keep it up to 20 years after the examination. Then they destroy it. The problem is that I don't remember exactly what was the name of this examination,  date, I only know in which clinic and can only write the year. Tge only person, who could help me with the information is my mom, but I wouldn't trust her words because she lies and gaslight a lot. I already found examples of her twisting everything. 

I'm sorry for this rant. Maybe i dont deserve the privilege of belonging here. My little friends helped me calm down a little. 

Parents

  • You are a human who has as much right to be here as anyone else, so please don’t think otherwise, no matter what your diagnosis may be.

    I hope what I’m saying doesn’t come across too authoritarian. Some of the following is based on my inner dialogue before and after assessment, when minority and negative political opinions on ASD had been high profile news.

    It’s natural to be anxious about your upcoming assessment but you’ve done everything you can to collect as much proof of your behaviours, differences and interests. It would be surprising if everyone who went through the assessment remembered to mention every relevant detail of their lives. The nature of ASD and its diagnosis means accurate recording of lifetime past behaviours and events would be impossible to relay with precision. Many people come away thinking they should have mentioned ‘such and such’ etc. but it doesn’t necessarily make a difference to the diagnostic outcome.

    If you are diagnosed, prepare yourself for imposter syndrome afterwards, and don’t pay attention to Uta Frith whose latest views are not widely accepted by autism experts. It would be reasonable and rational to accept the most widely accepted expert research on ASD, so don’t be overattentive to minority views because that would not be commonsensical. 

    In the absence of a ‘magic brain and body diagnostic ASD scanner’, it would be reasonable to accept the diagnosis given by your assessor.

    By the way, I love your paintings and character scenes. You choose such beautiful colours.

  • in reply to ArchaeC

    Thank you, yes it would be easier to have one simple test to confirm a diagnosis. My issue with the records of the past is that my mom made sure that any record stating any problems was deleted - thrown out. Even when a doctor wrote me, that I was hyperactive (restless legs, rocking stimming hands) she was upset and asked the doctor to remove it. But it stays and I have it. Nobody had a right to mention my problems. So I collected as much as I could from other family members, school and the medical records that were not thrown out. I also have photo of myself stimming (I was 12) in a way that actually does harm to me. I still do it and because of pulling my skin I got wounds many times and now I have black spots on my lips. This is a reason, once my dermatologist suggested a psychotherapy. I have quite much evidence of my old special intrests.

Reply
  • in reply to ArchaeC

    Thank you, yes it would be easier to have one simple test to confirm a diagnosis. My issue with the records of the past is that my mom made sure that any record stating any problems was deleted - thrown out. Even when a doctor wrote me, that I was hyperactive (restless legs, rocking stimming hands) she was upset and asked the doctor to remove it. But it stays and I have it. Nobody had a right to mention my problems. So I collected as much as I could from other family members, school and the medical records that were not thrown out. I also have photo of myself stimming (I was 12) in a way that actually does harm to me. I still do it and because of pulling my skin I got wounds many times and now I have black spots on my lips. This is a reason, once my dermatologist suggested a psychotherapy. I have quite much evidence of my old special intrests.

Children
No Data