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I can't human today

TheChef

Hi,

First post so some background

age 42, male, from UK. 

I have had a lot happening this year

Buying my first house from about February to May/June 

Just after completion on the house my dad messaged me out of the blue asking if I wanted to do a paternity test. I have never had the best relationship with him (mum and dad divorced when I was about 1 or 2, I saw my dad until I was about 6-7 and then didn't see him until I was about 19-20, my brother did continue to see him)

I work in a university (in IT). You would think the summer is quiet, but no. My team (including me) go into exams to make sure any IT issues are resolved quickly. We have re-sits happening right now. We also have several IT labs to re-image PCs and I always get a complicated area with extra work to install and configure software. We have just had clearing where the university wants to make sure everything works perfectly.

Lastly, I have my autism assessment coming up on 30th September. It was going to be last Thursday but clearing happening meant I had to postpone.

Last night/today I feel I have completely shut down. I do have problems with toilet activities (I have been diagnosed with diverticular). Right now, this is affecting me and quite frankly, I feel like I can't do anything, even having a wash/shower seems like a task that I am not sure will happen.

I think I might be in burnout. I am at the start of any journey regarding autism (if indeed I am autistic). As such, does anyone have any tips of places/things that might help? Right now, I am staying in my room, lights down and doing very little to try to recover a bit.

Thanks to anyone with any input.

Parents

  • Sorry to hear how you're feeling. 

    As someone else who works in IT I understand the pressure there can be when updating everything, keeping it compliant and also make sure everything is running properly. It's not an easy task.

    Add to that moving house, the family stuff and inevitable soul searching and second guessing that came with the assessment journey (or at least my experience of it) it's no wonder you're feeling you've shut down.

    I've found that accepting and acknowledging that you've reached that point is the first step.

    I've also had problems with burnout over the last few years, it sounds like you're doing the right thing to try and recover by doing very little. I've found that time to myself where I can do what I want to be very beneficial, whether this is sit and binge watch something or read, it even just sit in silence.

    Do you have any hobbies that help you relax? My wife swears by jigsaws for this!

    Is there anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling? 

    Years before I even considered any Neurodiversity could be causing how I was feeling I found going to the GP and talking to them made a big difference, but I know that it's not easy to get an appointment or to take that step

Reply

  • Sorry to hear how you're feeling. 

    As someone else who works in IT I understand the pressure there can be when updating everything, keeping it compliant and also make sure everything is running properly. It's not an easy task.

    Add to that moving house, the family stuff and inevitable soul searching and second guessing that came with the assessment journey (or at least my experience of it) it's no wonder you're feeling you've shut down.

    I've found that accepting and acknowledging that you've reached that point is the first step.

    I've also had problems with burnout over the last few years, it sounds like you're doing the right thing to try and recover by doing very little. I've found that time to myself where I can do what I want to be very beneficial, whether this is sit and binge watch something or read, it even just sit in silence.

    Do you have any hobbies that help you relax? My wife swears by jigsaws for this!

    Is there anyone you can talk to about how you're feeling? 

    Years before I even considered any Neurodiversity could be causing how I was feeling I found going to the GP and talking to them made a big difference, but I know that it's not easy to get an appointment or to take that step

Children
  • in reply to Longfella
    Longfella said:
    ars before I even considered any Neurodiversity could be causing how I was feeling

    Just to clarify, here’s some information on the language around autism and neurodiversity, which I hope is helpful:

    "It is common for words related to neurodiversity to be misused. For example, people might say ‘Autistic people are neurodiverse’ when they mean ‘Autistic people are neurodivergent’.

    Examples of accurate phrases include:

    Humans are neurodiverse.
    Autistic people are neurodivergent.
    Autism is a form of neurodivergence."

    NAS - Autism and neurodiversity