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Inability to switch between interests and profound guilt

Talli

Hello everyone this is my first post so I am sorry if I do anything wrong.

I am not yet diagnosed. I am currently on the waiting list (for two years so far) for a full diagnostic assessment having done the paperwork and attended the triage app. I am also on the waiting list for a ADHD assessment.

Both these diagnosis were suggested to me by three different NHS counsellors who strongly believed me to be AuDHD. But of course we will see what the assements say.

I am wondering if this behaviour sounds anything like AuDHD to any of you:

I have extremely intense special interests which usually last a long time (months to years) where I become fixated on one subject and it’s everything to me. But then it’ll start to wane and I’ll go back to a previous special interest. The guilt I feel is extreme like I am abandoning a family member and its ruins my life when this transition is happening. 
Sometimes the special interest will only last a month or a week and then the same profound deep guilt will kick in to the point all be almost paralysed and can’t do anything or it will lead to severely distressing behaviour which I will not go into on here.

I cannot seem to control how I feel about changing and the guilt it brings on.

Can anyone relate? 

Parents

  • Hi, 

    I've recently diagnosed with Audhd at 54 and this sounds the same as I've always been.

    I don't get the guilt you describe but a lot of my interests are relatively short-lived.

    I've read various things that have suggested it's down to the ADHD craving novelty and the ASD looking for routine, but looking at some of the answers and links in this thread that may not be totally correct.

    I'm lucky that a lot of my interests relate to my job, so I get paid to spend hours researching new tech and software, the only bit I struggle with, sometimes, is the implementation of it as I've often moved on by that time.

    As you say it's a rollercoaster at times

  • in reply to Longfella

    Hi and thank you so much for your reply! All this info is amazing! As I’m not actually diagnosed yet (still waiting on waiting list for full assessment) I’m not sure what it’s down to but hearing all these experiences including yours of people who feel similarly is extremely helpful. Especially with the going between different hobbies. 

    maybe the guilt I feel is due to something else rather than the possible ASD. I just feel so awful like I’m letting the thing down which is so silly! And I know it’s still but it dosnt change how I feel. It’s really crippling.

    im not a very confident person so perhaps its down to some people (or thing ha ha) pleasing traits I have. 
    Thank you again! 

Reply
  • in reply to Longfella

    Hi and thank you so much for your reply! All this info is amazing! As I’m not actually diagnosed yet (still waiting on waiting list for full assessment) I’m not sure what it’s down to but hearing all these experiences including yours of people who feel similarly is extremely helpful. Especially with the going between different hobbies. 

    maybe the guilt I feel is due to something else rather than the possible ASD. I just feel so awful like I’m letting the thing down which is so silly! And I know it’s still but it dosnt change how I feel. It’s really crippling.

    im not a very confident person so perhaps its down to some people (or thing ha ha) pleasing traits I have. 
    Thank you again! 

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