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How to cope with incoming loss of pets?

chansfoive5

Hi,

This is a tough one, I'm sorry. I apologise if this is a mess, I'm a bit of a mess at the moment. Sweat smile

So I am 25. I have two dogs, Willow, who's just turned 15, and Daisy, who's 11 1/2. Willow we got when she was 8 weeks, I was 10 years old. Daisy we adopted from rescue centre 7 1/2 years ago. Heart️

I wasn't diagnosed with my ADHD and autism till almost 2 1/2 years ago. So I've spent most of my life undiagnosed.

Willow has always been a massive cuddlebug. Noisy barker, but a cuddlebug Rofl I swear she just always seems to know when we're struggling, she comes over and cuddles with us, gives lots of kisses. She's got me through some difficult times. She's been my rock, my best friend, she's everything to me. 

She got to about 13 before she started having any sorts of issues. Even then, it was just minor natural aging. Apparently average dog has 2-5 breeds in them. She has 9. Which probably has helped in the long run. She's mostly husky though. 

Yesterday and today she's barely eaten, which is very unlike her, she's a greedy doggo, she'll eat everything, she never leaves anything Sweat smile if she doesn't change by tomorrow we'll have to ring our vets. 

She's also not licking as much, usually she's always licking our hands, feet, random things. She's been sleeping on the floor more. 

Even if this just turns out to be a bug or something she's caught, it's starting to hit me that she might not have long left. It could be weeks, months, I don't know.

And I'm terrified. 

Obviously I don't want her to suffer, and I would put her before myself, I can't have her suffer. But I'm also terrified of losing her. She's my baby. The idea of not having her laid at my feet in bed, no barking (Daisy doesn't really bark), no random kisses, it's breaking me. ADHD/autism wise I don't know how I'll cope. Because she's been a massive sweetheart and helped me during hard times. 

Since yesterday all I've done is cry. I'm scared. I don't know how I'm going to cope. Our family is scared. We've never lost a pet before. Only major loss I know is my paternal nan, I was 12 when she passed, and it's only started to hit me the last couple of years. 

As they say, grief is the price of love. Which is damn true. 

How does anyone cope? I'm scared just thinking about it. Does it get easier with time?

Has anyone got another after? Obviously can never replace her, but I think eventually it would be good for us all, especially Daisy, as she's always had Willow. We'd probably rescue again. But I also feel guilty just thinking about ever getting another. 

Has anyone found anything that specifically helped them cope with a loss? 

I'm thinking when the time comes I'll possibly get a cuddle pebble with her ashes, to be close to her. Maybe a necklace. Not a jewellery person but there's some cute, light ones. 

I even feel guilty for trying to think of how I'll cope and what I'll do after while she's still here. But I feel like if I don't plan something at least, or try to prepare myself, I'll be worse. 

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel or what I'm supposed to do. I just can't stop crying. I just keep laying on the floor with her and cuddling her.

Parents

  • Losing a pet is losing a family member. We are often closer to them than some family members. It is so painful.

    When one of my guinea pigs died I found online support groups for people who have lost pets. There were so many other people who were devastated by the loss of their pets and engaging in those groups helped me feel supported.

    I also rang a line for grieving (I think it was Cruse). Blue Cross also have pet bereavement services https://www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-loss-support

  • in reply to Tamarinda

    I don't think I've been so afraid in years. 

    We did have another small scare a few days later, she hadn't gone number 2 in over a day, was scared we'd have to take her to vets again. But we got some pumpkin powder, mixed it with her food, hour or so later she took herself out (we'd had to encourage her to go out before this) and went for one. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see a number 2 lol. I cried so hard. 

    She's had dog paracetamol for a week or so, she's now on gabapentin, and she's doing better. A little wobbly, but they said that can happen. But she's a lot more herself, more alert, back to being greedy, cuddly and noisy Heart️ Little missy was definitely enjoying the extra attention though Rofl

    Recently we used her old plastic dog bed, turned it over, put a thick dog blanket on it, sometimes she lays on top of it, sometimes she uses it as a step to climb onto my mum's bed. She also likes to lay on my bed, so yesterday I got a small ottoman that's at the end of my bed, partly for storage, partly for her. Bed is a little high for her to get her back legs up now, but the ottoman is the right height for her to climb onto, then she can easily do the last little step onto my bed. She quickly figured it out and did it herself last night with no prompting.

    When our kitchen floor tiles are sorted next month I'll be replacing the kitchen rug runners, and I've found some that are a bit bigger, so cover the floor more, so she won't slip as much. 

    But for now, she's doing a lot better. Our bank accounts are drained but I'd pay anything for her. 

    Definitely agree with your first part though, I'm definitely closer to her, than anyone other than my mum. My girls are everything to me. 

    I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved guinea pig. I'm glad you found support in others. I'm definitely noting those down for when the times comes, so thank you for those Heart️

Reply
  • in reply to Tamarinda

    I don't think I've been so afraid in years. 

    We did have another small scare a few days later, she hadn't gone number 2 in over a day, was scared we'd have to take her to vets again. But we got some pumpkin powder, mixed it with her food, hour or so later she took herself out (we'd had to encourage her to go out before this) and went for one. I don't think I've ever been so happy to see a number 2 lol. I cried so hard. 

    She's had dog paracetamol for a week or so, she's now on gabapentin, and she's doing better. A little wobbly, but they said that can happen. But she's a lot more herself, more alert, back to being greedy, cuddly and noisy Heart️ Little missy was definitely enjoying the extra attention though Rofl

    Recently we used her old plastic dog bed, turned it over, put a thick dog blanket on it, sometimes she lays on top of it, sometimes she uses it as a step to climb onto my mum's bed. She also likes to lay on my bed, so yesterday I got a small ottoman that's at the end of my bed, partly for storage, partly for her. Bed is a little high for her to get her back legs up now, but the ottoman is the right height for her to climb onto, then she can easily do the last little step onto my bed. She quickly figured it out and did it herself last night with no prompting.

    When our kitchen floor tiles are sorted next month I'll be replacing the kitchen rug runners, and I've found some that are a bit bigger, so cover the floor more, so she won't slip as much. 

    But for now, she's doing a lot better. Our bank accounts are drained but I'd pay anything for her. 

    Definitely agree with your first part though, I'm definitely closer to her, than anyone other than my mum. My girls are everything to me. 

    I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved guinea pig. I'm glad you found support in others. I'm definitely noting those down for when the times comes, so thank you for those Heart️

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