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How to cope with incoming loss of pets?

chansfoive5

Hi,

This is a tough one, I'm sorry. I apologise if this is a mess, I'm a bit of a mess at the moment. Sweat smile

So I am 25. I have two dogs, Willow, who's just turned 15, and Daisy, who's 11 1/2. Willow we got when she was 8 weeks, I was 10 years old. Daisy we adopted from rescue centre 7 1/2 years ago. Heart️

I wasn't diagnosed with my ADHD and autism till almost 2 1/2 years ago. So I've spent most of my life undiagnosed.

Willow has always been a massive cuddlebug. Noisy barker, but a cuddlebug Rofl I swear she just always seems to know when we're struggling, she comes over and cuddles with us, gives lots of kisses. She's got me through some difficult times. She's been my rock, my best friend, she's everything to me. 

She got to about 13 before she started having any sorts of issues. Even then, it was just minor natural aging. Apparently average dog has 2-5 breeds in them. She has 9. Which probably has helped in the long run. She's mostly husky though. 

Yesterday and today she's barely eaten, which is very unlike her, she's a greedy doggo, she'll eat everything, she never leaves anything Sweat smile if she doesn't change by tomorrow we'll have to ring our vets. 

She's also not licking as much, usually she's always licking our hands, feet, random things. She's been sleeping on the floor more. 

Even if this just turns out to be a bug or something she's caught, it's starting to hit me that she might not have long left. It could be weeks, months, I don't know.

And I'm terrified. 

Obviously I don't want her to suffer, and I would put her before myself, I can't have her suffer. But I'm also terrified of losing her. She's my baby. The idea of not having her laid at my feet in bed, no barking (Daisy doesn't really bark), no random kisses, it's breaking me. ADHD/autism wise I don't know how I'll cope. Because she's been a massive sweetheart and helped me during hard times. 

Since yesterday all I've done is cry. I'm scared. I don't know how I'm going to cope. Our family is scared. We've never lost a pet before. Only major loss I know is my paternal nan, I was 12 when she passed, and it's only started to hit me the last couple of years. 

As they say, grief is the price of love. Which is damn true. 

How does anyone cope? I'm scared just thinking about it. Does it get easier with time?

Has anyone got another after? Obviously can never replace her, but I think eventually it would be good for us all, especially Daisy, as she's always had Willow. We'd probably rescue again. But I also feel guilty just thinking about ever getting another. 

Has anyone found anything that specifically helped them cope with a loss? 

I'm thinking when the time comes I'll possibly get a cuddle pebble with her ashes, to be close to her. Maybe a necklace. Not a jewellery person but there's some cute, light ones. 

I even feel guilty for trying to think of how I'll cope and what I'll do after while she's still here. But I feel like if I don't plan something at least, or try to prepare myself, I'll be worse. 

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel or what I'm supposed to do. I just can't stop crying. I just keep laying on the floor with her and cuddling her.

Parents

  • There's nothing worse than seeing them suffer, but having been there a few times best thing you can do is get them checked over and go from there - I've had a few real scares that have come to nothing and I've lost a couple too. 

    When the time comes you do what's right for the dog and after you do what's right for you - I love animals, I love dogs and I love being a dog owner... both times I've got another dog. 

    We have two now which preferably are spaced apart by a handful of years... doesn't always work out that way but while I'm in the position I'm in now (ie capable of looking after them well) I'll have two dogs. 

    Love your dogs - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that this is a scare - and know that you gave yours a great life (great you adopted too - I've not done that with a hound though have elsewhere). Don't feel guilty for getting another after - you'll still love your passed ones like mad but you've enough love for another. And believe me, you'll love the next one too. And while grief is tough it's worth it for all they bring. 

    (As fate would have it the weekend I lost my last one, and what a beautiful dog he was, I reserved his 2 week old cousin! And what a beautiful pup he is too! It's mad: in some ways it's like going back in time, in others he's totally different!)

  • in reply to Acquiesce

    We're going to ring our vets in the morning, probably will be asked to take her in. From what I can see, she's a bit tired, not eating, her muzzle seems a bit swollen, so I'm hoping just an infection. 

    I honestly love being an owner, and I love dogs. I honestly don't know if I'd have made it this far if I didn't have them. Especially Willow. She's got me through incredibly hard times before. 

    I would never change anything. She practically chose us. My mum's friend's dog had pups. We went to visit. 10 year old me was sat with a lap full of puppies. She looked at me a certain way and I just fell in love and we got her. I also was the one to suggest her name and my mum agreed with it. Heart️

    I think I'm scared of the unknown, what it will be like when she does go. 

    I love that you also have a relative pup too! Almost like a small piece of him is carrying on, but also the joy and love of a new pup and learning his individual mannerisms and such Heart️

    Thank you for your kind words, they've really helped smiling face with hearts

  • in reply to chansfoive5

    It's always terrifying but usually something simple to deal with - all the little things feel much bigger when they age though, which while awful preps you...

    I'm the same in terms of wondering if I'd have made it this far without - they're amazingly empathetic and therapeutic animals (see also cats and, somewhat surprisingly for someone who used to be fearful of them, horses). 

    When they go it hits hard, and like I said you never stop missing them, but my take is you keep going because you love them and they give you so much back that you just keep going with the next one. 

    I wasn't sure I could love anything as much as my first dog - got to pick my perfect breed as I was reluctant - but wow was I wrong!  

    Good luck - moments like these are sent to remind us how important they are to us.

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  • in reply to chansfoive5

    It's always terrifying but usually something simple to deal with - all the little things feel much bigger when they age though, which while awful preps you...

    I'm the same in terms of wondering if I'd have made it this far without - they're amazingly empathetic and therapeutic animals (see also cats and, somewhat surprisingly for someone who used to be fearful of them, horses). 

    When they go it hits hard, and like I said you never stop missing them, but my take is you keep going because you love them and they give you so much back that you just keep going with the next one. 

    I wasn't sure I could love anything as much as my first dog - got to pick my perfect breed as I was reluctant - but wow was I wrong!  

    Good luck - moments like these are sent to remind us how important they are to us.

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