I need connection, but have no idea, how to connect. Even here

Im sorry for repeating the same thing, the same struggle. I wish i could chat with people like others do. I cant, not only with strangers, but also with the closest ones. Sorry for typos, its first time i logged in from laptop. I feel sorry for being defective and feel a need to appologise to everyone. Its not much i can write. If there is anyone willing to have some chat, you can respond. I was excited today about one video, it was quite short unfortunately. There was a hypothesis, that around half billion years ago earth had a ring, which could have formed out of debris created by a crushed asteroid. These pieces of rocks colided with each other and some of them, according to this hypothesis, fell on earth and created craters. Currently these craters are scattered accross all continents, as they drifted. But when scientists recreated the location of continents in ancient times, it turns out, all these craters were formed within 30 Degrees of ancient ecuator. 

I have no friends, i fear, its a matter of time, when my daughter gonna be ashamed of me, seeing, how different i am. All other mothers and fathers chat, laugh, gesticulate, sit together and enjoy and i am the only weirdo sitting on a bench and rocking or stimming with fingers or writing alien stories. Once, some time ago she convinced her friend, to approach me and tell me something offensive. He did it and they both laughed. 38 year old woman becoming a victim of bullying by pre-school kids, its a shame for me. Even that lady, who i shared my story with seems to be avoiding me. I shared my experience with her to let her understand her autistic son better. I concentrated on my difficulties that i had in my childhood, causes and my strategies. Its still ringing in my head- NOBODY LIKES YOU, GO AWAY; STOP STARING OR ::: and so on. i still fear groups of children or teens. 

Im not alone, but feel lonely even when sitting around people. As much as i love my inner world, i hate being so disconnected from the outside world.

Then i hear from my sister, that im just different and its nothing negative, then the best advice: i just need to act normal. I have no idea how, and she can not imagine how is it possible.

Im sorry for this probably long and pointless post.

Parents
  • Oh I remember hearing about earth having a ring in the past, isn't there something about Saturn's ring changing and slowly being pulled down so eventually it won't have a ring either? 

    I also saw this article the other day and thought of you (hopefully you can read it). NASA want to save their Swift Observatory that's slowly falling by launching something up to catch it and boost it up. 

    The reason it's falling is crazy, 

    • The Swift observatory is falling because increased solar activity has pushed out the Earth's atmosphere such that it touches Swift. This drags on the observatory and slows it down as it orbits the Earth, lowering its altitude.

    I didn't know our atmospheric range can change, it sounds like the plot to a science fiction novel with a daring rescue not attempted before.

    Do keep making posts, I always find them very interesting!

  • I heard about Saturns moon Enceladus throwing its water, and it gets absorbed to the Saturn rings. Its also exciting, that the New Horisons reactivated after 321 days of hibernation, in kuiper belt behind pluto.

    I often feel like all people here create a group and fit with each other, but only me- not. Its not a complaint or hate, just how i feel.

    Thank you for your response. 

  • Just to say AlienOnEarth that I find your space and science posts very interesting. Thumbsup

  • Sci Fi was my staple reading as a teenager. Asimov especially but also A E van Vogt, Clive Simak, Fred Hoyle and so on.  I ultimately read all of Asimov’s novels and stories which were published in collections. I used to have the ambition to re read them in the chronological order of his future universe but there aren’t enough years left to do that when Im trying to read huge amounts of 20C poetry and literature with the associated history and to synthesise and understand it all. 

    The only more recent sci fi Ive read are several of Iain M Banks Culture novels which was too much of a time investment given other aspirations. Currently Im reading East European history and poetry, mainly soviet era to present. 

  • I watched a program recently about the race to get a probe to Venus, and it was really fascinating watching them realise that the planet was nothing like they had imagined it to be under the thick swirling clouds. All their hypothesies had to go out the window as they discovered more more each time they tried, and the craziest thing that we haven't tried again since really!

    Maybe at some point they will try again to find out more about that world. 

    The moons of the gas giants feature so much in science fiction, they are the real mysteries that could hold such fascinating secrets.

    Sci Fi is one of my favourite genres. I love the work of Becky Chambers, they explore the ideas of living in space and alien life in a quiet contemplative way, making you really think about what it could be like. The series starts with A Long Way to a Small Angry planet, and I loved the ideas in it about worm holes and living with other life that is very different from our own. The second one features ideas around ai. Space stories are really fascinating!

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  • I watched a program recently about the race to get a probe to Venus, and it was really fascinating watching them realise that the planet was nothing like they had imagined it to be under the thick swirling clouds. All their hypothesies had to go out the window as they discovered more more each time they tried, and the craziest thing that we haven't tried again since really!

    Maybe at some point they will try again to find out more about that world. 

    The moons of the gas giants feature so much in science fiction, they are the real mysteries that could hold such fascinating secrets.

    Sci Fi is one of my favourite genres. I love the work of Becky Chambers, they explore the ideas of living in space and alien life in a quiet contemplative way, making you really think about what it could be like. The series starts with A Long Way to a Small Angry planet, and I loved the ideas in it about worm holes and living with other life that is very different from our own. The second one features ideas around ai. Space stories are really fascinating!

Children
  • Sci Fi was my staple reading as a teenager. Asimov especially but also A E van Vogt, Clive Simak, Fred Hoyle and so on.  I ultimately read all of Asimov’s novels and stories which were published in collections. I used to have the ambition to re read them in the chronological order of his future universe but there aren’t enough years left to do that when Im trying to read huge amounts of 20C poetry and literature with the associated history and to synthesise and understand it all. 

    The only more recent sci fi Ive read are several of Iain M Banks Culture novels which was too much of a time investment given other aspirations. Currently Im reading East European history and poetry, mainly soviet era to present.