Being "Ghosted" is confusing and hurts

Wondered if this is a type of difficulty people here have experienced? 

The short version is that I've been ghosted by friends - people I know in person - where I've had every indication that the friendship was going well and was solid, only to find that they either cut me off with little given reason, or simply vanish on me abruptly. 

I've a history of mostly working, and find work relationships easier in the sense that I am meant to be there and am supposed to communicate with colleagues about work. As with so many accounts from autistic people, I too am rather baffled by a lot of social norms, and have my share of difficulties in developing and maintaining friendships in general. And I get how I can simply no be someone's 'cup of tea'. 

But what is painful, feels cruel, and erodes my fragile and hard worked at sense of esteem or worth is when I'll have known someone a year or more, had a series of meeting up and they've had a nice time (they report and are up for doing it again), and I think I've finally found a friendship that will last, and ... suddenly ... gone! 

Also, I know a lot of people are conscious of social conventions around hurting feelings and people may have reasons and choose not to tell me why they are ending it. But it would be so much kinder if I had some idea why, rather than being left guessing; often for many months or years and feeling I'm the fault. And that brings up shame and guilt, and resonates strongly with many insecurities I have. 

Parents
  • Dear Maja,

    I can see you have already has some really supportive replies from the community. I hope this helps you know that you are not alone with these experiences but I know that it doesn't make it any easier to have had this happen. 

    I also wanted to share a link to our Autism Services Directory as you may be able to find some social groups or activities that have opportunities to create relationships within your local area. 

    I really hope that some of these wonderful responses are helping you. The community is here for you. 

    Take care,

    Olivia Mod

Reply
  • Dear Maja,

    I can see you have already has some really supportive replies from the community. I hope this helps you know that you are not alone with these experiences but I know that it doesn't make it any easier to have had this happen. 

    I also wanted to share a link to our Autism Services Directory as you may be able to find some social groups or activities that have opportunities to create relationships within your local area. 

    I really hope that some of these wonderful responses are helping you. The community is here for you. 

    Take care,

    Olivia Mod

Children
No Data