Being "Ghosted" is confusing and hurts

Wondered if this is a type of difficulty people here have experienced? 

The short version is that I've been ghosted by friends - people I know in person - where I've had every indication that the friendship was going well and was solid, only to find that they either cut me off with little given reason, or simply vanish on me abruptly. 

I've a history of mostly working, and find work relationships easier in the sense that I am meant to be there and am supposed to communicate with colleagues about work. As with so many accounts from autistic people, I too am rather baffled by a lot of social norms, and have my share of difficulties in developing and maintaining friendships in general. And I get how I can simply no be someone's 'cup of tea'. 

But what is painful, feels cruel, and erodes my fragile and hard worked at sense of esteem or worth is when I'll have known someone a year or more, had a series of meeting up and they've had a nice time (they report and are up for doing it again), and I think I've finally found a friendship that will last, and ... suddenly ... gone! 

Also, I know a lot of people are conscious of social conventions around hurting feelings and people may have reasons and choose not to tell me why they are ending it. But it would be so much kinder if I had some idea why, rather than being left guessing; often for many months or years and feeling I'm the fault. And that brings up shame and guilt, and resonates strongly with many insecurities I have. 

Parents
  • Maja the direction of friends in life will always be drawn to there own working careers and lifestyles outside of work possibly social settings and various other factors. Due to demands in there lifes they could be busy alot of the time.

    Empathize and relate to a friend and there situation. friends will change over time moving job or your home can relocate you with different friends.

    The more time you spend with friends the more you can relate to there life's  as not all autistics can do this it can cause a friendship to end quickly

    There will always be someone out there who is on your wavelength and enjoys your company

    Autism is a big spectrum but we all have the same condition 

    Hope this helps

Reply
  • Maja the direction of friends in life will always be drawn to there own working careers and lifestyles outside of work possibly social settings and various other factors. Due to demands in there lifes they could be busy alot of the time.

    Empathize and relate to a friend and there situation. friends will change over time moving job or your home can relocate you with different friends.

    The more time you spend with friends the more you can relate to there life's  as not all autistics can do this it can cause a friendship to end quickly

    There will always be someone out there who is on your wavelength and enjoys your company

    Autism is a big spectrum but we all have the same condition 

    Hope this helps

Children
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