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All-or-nothing mindset.

JellyBean

Hello,

I think Metal health and wellbeing is a good fit for this topic.

I was wandering if anyone else has the "All-or-nothing" mindset? and if so how do you deal with it? I've been jogging again for the past 18 weeks. I enterd a few "races" nearby for the 5K, I finished them but not unbroken, I had to stop to walk a few times. In my mind I didn't run a 5K, I faild. Its not what people think though, when I told my family they acted as if I was being hard on myself, maybe I am but not in a sad way, not in a "I'm not good enough way and I'll never be good enough." but rather, "That was good but not good enough do better next time!"

I have three medels in my room for 5Ks and I've not earned any of them. I had to stop and walk, again not an attack against myself, but in my mind I did not run a 5K. But I can now do a 5K unbroken, its slow, I'm sitting at a 35:25 minute 5K, not great but its unbroken! So the next time I do the race (October) I'll be able to do it fully and it will be the first time I've finished the race and done an actual 5K race. It was that mindset that pushed me to do it. To go out in the freezing rain, heat, snow, hail, wind and so on to keep running. Its paid off now but here is my issue:

I'm currently studying CS and AI development at the OU (Open University), and this mindset is starting to affect my ability to learn. If I haven't answered a question fully, on my own with no help then I've answered the question, if I had help then I haven't answered the question. If the latter does happen then I zone out and chalk it up as a loss.

Silly I know, where it has served me well in running, like an angry coach, it is holding me back in education. 

So my question is simply: if you have it how do you deal with it, how do you stop it from sabotaging you?

Parents

  • Hi and welcome to the community!

    An all-or-nothing mindset - often also referred to as black-white-thinking, or cognitive rigidity - is a common issue among us, as autistic people.

    In respect of the diagnostic criteria, it falls under the DSM's category B (Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities) and, under the ICD manual, falls within the list of features under "Persistent restricted, repetitive, and inflexible patterns of behaviour, interests, or activities".

    You might find this advice, from a Scottish NHS team, helpful:

    NEST (part of NHS Ayrshire & Arran) - All or Nothing: Understanding Black-and-White Thinking in Neurodivergence

    Therapy or counselling are often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. Perhaps that might be something to consider in respect of these difficulties? If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you might instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. 

    Before arranging anything, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    Some of the Open University's student's union resources might also be helpful, including their link to the OU's disability support help centre:

    OpenSU - Neurodiversity Support Hub / Study resources and support

Reply

  • Hi and welcome to the community!

    An all-or-nothing mindset - often also referred to as black-white-thinking, or cognitive rigidity - is a common issue among us, as autistic people.

    In respect of the diagnostic criteria, it falls under the DSM's category B (Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities) and, under the ICD manual, falls within the list of features under "Persistent restricted, repetitive, and inflexible patterns of behaviour, interests, or activities".

    You might find this advice, from a Scottish NHS team, helpful:

    NEST (part of NHS Ayrshire & Arran) - All or Nothing: Understanding Black-and-White Thinking in Neurodivergence

    Therapy or counselling are often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. Perhaps that might be something to consider in respect of these difficulties? If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you might instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. 

    Before arranging anything, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    Some of the Open University's student's union resources might also be helpful, including their link to the OU's disability support help centre:

    OpenSU - Neurodiversity Support Hub / Study resources and support

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