I’m overwhelmed and struggling to access support.
Since I found out I likely have autism and ADHD early last year, I’ve really struggled to push myself through processes in the same way I did before. I just seemingly overnight became unable to perform and jump through hoops that I’d managed to do until then. I’ve been in a sustained period of burnout since.
Now being unable to mask is blocking the access I need to get support but I just cannot find the energy or ability to modify how I communicate or increase what I can manage. I had a routine appointment yesterday, and even though it went well I still spent the evening distressed and with significant low mood and rumination from the exhaustion of it and build up to it.
Whichever organisation I try for support, they either say they can’t help or direct me to another organisation. I end up in an endless cycle and getting nowhere.
I try to keep my communication calm with organisation to try and manage direct communication with them, but it’s clear (I think) how distressed I am when doing so and how much I’m struggling but organisations don’t modify their communication style or routes to make them more accessible to me. Sometimes it feels like they make them less accessible in retaliation of me asserting my rights. Even when organisations have a policy that supports the adjustments I’m asking for, I’m still denied them. It’s exhausting.
Today also I’ve had a family member say that I get people’s backs up, sometimes I need to be the bigger person. But I feel that’s what I’ve done up until now, and I just cannot do it any more. Also, me having done so until now, ironically, is being used by some organisations to demonstrate that I don’t need the support I’m asking for.
Im currently undiagnosed, as I couldn’t manage the assessment process (I asked it to be paused but unsure if it was and can’t face seeing their response having emailed them to ask). I was diagnosed with ADHD but never received my report and the organisation has now been shut down by the CQC and I have had it confirmed I cannot get the report.
What is the best thing to start with and best first step to take?
