• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 8 subscribers
  • Views 275 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Support when Burned out and Cannot Mask

south37

I’m overwhelmed and struggling to access support. 

Since I found out I likely have autism and ADHD early last year, I’ve really struggled to push myself through processes in the same way I did before. I just seemingly overnight became unable to perform and jump through hoops that I’d managed to do until then. I’ve been in a sustained period of burnout since. 

Now being unable to mask is blocking the access I need to get support but I just cannot find the energy or ability to modify how I communicate or increase what I can manage. I had a routine appointment yesterday, and even though it went well I still spent the evening distressed and with significant low mood and rumination from the exhaustion of it and build up to it.

Whichever organisation I try for support, they either say they can’t help or direct me to another organisation. I end up in an endless cycle and getting nowhere. 

I try to keep my communication calm with organisation to try and manage direct communication with them, but it’s clear (I think) how distressed I am when doing so and how much I’m struggling but organisations don’t modify their communication style or routes to make them more accessible to me. Sometimes it feels like they make them less accessible in retaliation of me asserting my rights. Even when organisations have a policy that supports the adjustments I’m asking for, I’m still denied them. It’s exhausting.

Today also I’ve had a family member say that I get people’s backs up, sometimes I need to be the bigger person. But I feel that’s what I’ve done up until now, and I just cannot do it any more. Also, me having done so until now, ironically, is being used by some organisations to demonstrate that I don’t need the support I’m asking for.

Im currently undiagnosed, as I couldn’t manage the assessment process (I asked it to be paused but unsure if it was and can’t face seeing their response having emailed them to ask). I was diagnosed with ADHD but never received my report and the organisation has now been shut down by the CQC and I have had it confirmed I cannot get the report.

What is the best thing to start with and best first step to take?

  • What sort of support are you looking for specifically?

    I'm finding that there doesn't seem to be a lot of free support for autistic adults. One thing that is available if 'Access to work' which can provide support in the workplace but there is a long waiting list. I have applied for funding for a workplace coach through a company called ASM which offers coaching and mentoring for autistic people. 

    You can self refer to NHS talking therapies but they don't necessarily have specific help for autism - just general help for mental health issues such a s low mood and anxiety. I'm on the waiting list for this.

    I totally relate to the exhaustion and rumination after an appointment. My ASD assessment left me unregulated for a week afterwards thinking about what I said or should have said and I'm still feeling anxious about it weeks later!

  • Thank you for your replies. 

    I’ve tried several organisations for support but all have the same barriers. 

    I felt ready to tackle the next obstacle but again doing so has put me back to square one with them saying contact at least initially HAS to be telephone or face to face. This is despite doing so putting me at a significant disadvantage, and increasing distress and harmful thoughts, even when it goes well.

    The reason I need the support is because of these difficulties.

    How do I get access to the support I need when it’s requiring me to do the thing I need the support with? Does anyone have any advice/help of what I can try?


    I’ve repeatedly stated my needs and the equality act but repeatedly get met with refusal, with every organisation wanting to be the exception.

    I’ve tried pushing through at great cost, and having done so has also then used against me to ‘prove’ I don’t need the support I’m seeking. 

  • sorry to hear this

    I've found a link to support lines you could contact

    Mental Health Helplines

    (sorry moderators if not allowed)

  • In my experience, trying to access support didn't really help. At best I found speaking to online friends can help. Though the hardest part of that is getting past the barrier of asking them without feeling awkward. Therapy and support services are definitely not designed with autistic people in mind. 

    Only other things that help me is finding a comfort zone or a reset point. 

    For me the comfort zone is gaming, taking a break away from most of my points of stress.

    For reset points it's more difficult, but it is as simple as changing the channel... by literally changing the channel. I know as I've gone more down the route of politics and true crime more recently, and even socializing, the best thing to do when burnt out or depressed/anxious is having a change of scenery. Go home do something new, try something new. 

    Most importantly keep yourself busy with hobbies and interests. That is probably a good place to start, it gives you something to work towards. 

  • Hello south37,

    I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing burnout. It can have a significant impact on your wellbeing and day-to-day life.

    The NAS website has a range of helpful articles and resources on autistic burnout and fatigue that you may find useful. You can access them here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/mental-health/autistic-fatigue

    I hope these articles provide some helpful information and give you a better understanding of burnout, its effects, and ways to manage it.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Karin Mod