Waking Anxiety

Something I suffer from horrible anxiety on waking. Ive tried to rationalise it as simply the cortisol naturally kicking in, but its not natural, well it doesn’t seem that way. It comes with huge amounts of guilt, but attaching that to anything is difficult if not impossible. This morning for instance the feelings are intense, like Ive done something dreadfully wrong and Im going to be caught and punished. 

Im also diagnosed with c-ptsd so with that in mind it makes a kind of sense, but the intensity is out of all proportion to my life. I might have been having a dream (nightmare) which occurs intermittently where Ive killed somebody and hidden the body, then am terrified of being caught and imprisoned. I seem to be carrying this horrible burden, I know rationally thats its not justified but emotion mind cannot see that. 


My sleep is often bad, the nightmares are less than they used to be but I rarely get sufficient sleep. Lately Ive been having a frightening time dropping to sleep where Im trapped in this zone between awake and asleep, I get these jolts, Im unable to move yet almost awake, I convince myself Im dying and that I deserve it as Im a bad person. 


oh well, just need to get the coffee and get past this, we have the last few things to do at my old house before completion on Monday. 

Alice

Parents
  • sorry to hear as anxiety seems to a major problem most NDs suffer, and to hear you have it on awakening is tough.

    My anxieties had also included waking up in the middle of the night with dracing thoughts and feeling my heart was rate was also elevated too - this was long before I knew I was AuDHD or was aware of anxiety and just was baffled by all the tests the GP did over the years that came back clear.

    I also couldnt fathom the pattern of these occurences , as sometimes they happened when I was less anxious generally - I could still wake up in the night.  I'm on ADHD meds now, and my anxiety has reduced a little, although I can still get anxiety in an instant , e.g. l WFH and if my mind decides to switch to work thoughts whilst I'm brushing my teeth , then I may gag and even be sick.  

    I've stopped self-medicating with wine,  and gave up alcohol in January, I've also cut down to 1 coffee a day, and have switched to decaffinated drinks too.  Obviously things like work, homelife, family and relationship issues will all be there and but I feel like I'm trying to do what I can to help

    Also google the "worry tree" - as its possibly the best tool and one kept from therapy from over a year ago 

    let us know if things improve! once you move (which as others said can be a major stressful event)

Reply
  • sorry to hear as anxiety seems to a major problem most NDs suffer, and to hear you have it on awakening is tough.

    My anxieties had also included waking up in the middle of the night with dracing thoughts and feeling my heart was rate was also elevated too - this was long before I knew I was AuDHD or was aware of anxiety and just was baffled by all the tests the GP did over the years that came back clear.

    I also couldnt fathom the pattern of these occurences , as sometimes they happened when I was less anxious generally - I could still wake up in the night.  I'm on ADHD meds now, and my anxiety has reduced a little, although I can still get anxiety in an instant , e.g. l WFH and if my mind decides to switch to work thoughts whilst I'm brushing my teeth , then I may gag and even be sick.  

    I've stopped self-medicating with wine,  and gave up alcohol in January, I've also cut down to 1 coffee a day, and have switched to decaffinated drinks too.  Obviously things like work, homelife, family and relationship issues will all be there and but I feel like I'm trying to do what I can to help

    Also google the "worry tree" - as its possibly the best tool and one kept from therapy from over a year ago 

    let us know if things improve! once you move (which as others said can be a major stressful event)

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