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Lonely and lacking direction!

Emilywho

Hi all,

This may be a bit of a ramble so I do apologise. I just need to get some feelings out.

Does anyone else just feel incredibly lonely?

 

Friends

I have a great partner who I do feel so grateful for, he adores me! He works shifts so that can have it's challenges but we make it work regarding routines but this does leave me with time to myself quite regularly. He still sees his uni mates from 15 years ago, meets up with old colleagues, which seems so alien to me as I am not in contact with anyone from uni or old jobs.

I have all of one friend who I only see every other month because she now has two kids (and I don't like children) so the few hours we spend together is filled with talking about children. I feel I get nothing from that friendship anymore.

I am craving more friends, but on my terms? Like I almost don't want to commit in case it takes too much time or energy from me. I know I shouldn't take any notice of social media but it is very difficult to see everyone out and enjoying themselves and overhearing people at work talking about their plans. Plus how do people make friends???

I love sewing and making clothes, this is a solitary hobby which I do like but sometimes wish I had a community to chat to or be around. I have searched in my local area and any social sewing/crafty types things is not sewing clothes, or they are during the day but I work full time.

 

Work

This brings me onto my work, I am so bored. This and my past job I enjoyed in the beginning then I get to the point where I can do my work so fast and efficiently that I have nothing to do, and people around me are super busy and stressed I really don't get it! Is that my autism? I enjoy working from home, then I feel I should go into the office to be around others, then there is either no one in or it is like I am invisible and no one talks to me because everyone is so busy. Then I think, at least it is easy money (minimum wage just to be clear!).

I want a new job but what if it isn't as flexible as this one? What if it makes me stressed? I would rather be bored than stressed. How do people change careers? Where do you even start?

I have searched for career advisors with specialisms in adult autism, but astounded at the £200+ fee per session (and they recommend at least 6!) and this is not affordable.

 

None of this makes coherent sense, but long story short, I feel lonely. I feel like I try to do things, push myself to go new places, suggest things, seek out social groups, but nothing happens.

Can anyone relate?

Parents

  • Hi  and welcome to our community. I can relate to this and it does make coherent sense, to me at least.

    A job that you've mastered to the point where it no longer inspires, and with an insufficient counterbalance of social connection. Your comment about social media is pertinent as I find most content is curated/edited/overegged.

    What you have in your corner is a partner who adores you, a very useful, creative hobby and, from what you write, an ability to learn and master fresh challenges.

    I understand the desire not to want to commit too deeply to new friendships and to have them on your terms. Healthy relationships thrive within people's boundaries but with some give and take. Hopefully you will find a person or people who you can spend some time with whose needs for friendship are compatible with yours and just see how it goes.

    This community is a good place to make some connections and we all have the start point of autism. Some of us even live in Yorkshire. Happy to chat further with you!

Reply

  • Hi  and welcome to our community. I can relate to this and it does make coherent sense, to me at least.

    A job that you've mastered to the point where it no longer inspires, and with an insufficient counterbalance of social connection. Your comment about social media is pertinent as I find most content is curated/edited/overegged.

    What you have in your corner is a partner who adores you, a very useful, creative hobby and, from what you write, an ability to learn and master fresh challenges.

    I understand the desire not to want to commit too deeply to new friendships and to have them on your terms. Healthy relationships thrive within people's boundaries but with some give and take. Hopefully you will find a person or people who you can spend some time with whose needs for friendship are compatible with yours and just see how it goes.

    This community is a good place to make some connections and we all have the start point of autism. Some of us even live in Yorkshire. Happy to chat further with you!

Children