• Replies 10 replies
  • Subscribers 5 subscribers
  • Views 168 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Where on earth do I even begin with unmasking????

wob5

Hello,

For the past 8-12 weeks I’ve been really trying hard to unmask and be my more authentic self in public and around my friends. I’ve been really trying to make a big point of it with myself recently. However….

It’s just so difficult?!?! How do people achieve it??

Every morning I literally say to myself “just be the true me” before stepping through the doors to somewhere like college or just before a social gathering and I get off to an ok start and then the mask just subconsciously slips back on and I still end up depleted at the end of the day from running 50 tabs in the background to appear like more of a social butterfly. It’s always “Don’t forget to make eye contact but not for too long or not too short” or “Make sure you use the right tone of voice” aswell as a million other things that are rushing through my head or that I’m trying to monitor at the same time. Not to forget the sensory side of things which just steals the life force away from me. Some days I can cope ok and others I just crash and want to lock myself in quiet dark room to just detox from the day I’ve had. It can be up and down. I always try to wear AirPods and sunglasses where I can to cancel out the effects of the sensory differences I have but even then, it’s the times inbetween those points where I haven’t/can’t use these which make the biggest difference.

I know fully unmasking isn’t a short process but does anyone sort of have any advice or pointers from their own personal experiences of trying to tackle this? Is it that I’m trying too hard or not trying hard enough? Is there anything which I’m not doing? Is it even possible?!

heaps of thanks :) 

Parents

  • Hi 

    It’s a tough one but I started with the thing I found most difficult which is eye contact. I’ve discovered that I can look at people when they are speaking but when I speak that’s when it gets hard so I don’t do it and it did feel awkward initially but now it’s so much  easier. 

    Try not to force yourself into it, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to and if you apply pressure to the situation it usually makes things worse.

    Have faith in yourself you’ll get there eventually and that’s all that matters.

    Remember people are not thinking about you as much as you think they are they are usually thinking about themselves.

    Wishing you well Blush

  • in reply to Lonehare12

    That’s something I struggled with, we seem to spend a lifetime conscious of being judged by others and trying to fit in. 
    It changed once I took a step back and more observed them. I’m not comfortable with eye contact so don’t often do it. I have noticed it makes NT people uncomfortable and upsets their rhythm.

    I don’t think we can just completely unmask, it’s just too deeply ingrained, the more I explored my autistic identity, the more my brain just relaxed and let my real self shine through.

Reply Children
No Data