feeling numb

Evening everyone, 

Does anyone else feel like this? 

I just feel numb. Pretty much all of the time, I find it hard to feel any sensation - this is emotional and physical and I find that more and more extreme attempts are needed to feel anything very much. For example, using a body scratcher/scrubber repeatedly, gave a sensation that I know in the past has felt painful. The other day, it was quite nice just to feel. 

I was praised at work recently. Previously this would have made me feel really pleased and again, i felt nothing and struggled to say acknowledge the recognition. I initially put this down to feeling my previous reaction was naivety and that I am a bit more seasoned and perhaps cynical. But that's not really me. 

I don't feel depressed or sad. I am coming to terms about my Feb/March diagnosis this year and so I wonder if there is something deep rooted going on psychologically. But I have little to be worried about except the world seems to have gone very monochrome. Not good and so this feeling is becoming something that is worrying me and consequently, I am finding concentration and focus on anything - work or life - really tough. 

I can understand why people can turn to substances and self harm - just wanting some sensation. I'm not there and don't want to end up there - but how do I navigate this? It feels that the rule book I had worked out for my life has been thrown into recycling and I haven't got the new version - leaving me, well, numb. It's really strange and I would appreciate any thoughts about what might be going on for me. 

Thanks. Andrew

  • Thank you - it's really helpful to know that how I am feeling is not uncommon and that others are out there who have an understanding of what this is like. 

    Reading what you, Cinnarbar_wing and Bridalwhistle have written is comforting - thanks again Slight smile

  • Hi Andrew, and thanks for reaching out.  Like our other community members have already mentioned, receiving an autism diagnosis can be a very big change to navigate.  I am so sorry to hear that you've been struggling recently, but know you are not alone and there are many people out there who can offer support in difficult times.

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. If you’re finding it hard to cope or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help. If you feel you or anyone else is at risk of immediate harm, dial 999 or contact one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help

    You could also consider contacting your GP, as they are likely to be able to help you access the right support. 

    You may also like to have a look at the mental health section of our website which has useful links to information and advice about a range of mental health issues: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health

    As Cinnabar_wing said, it may also be worthwhile to look at information on depression, which can be found here: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/mental-health/depression

    I hope that these resources are of some help to you, and we are always here if you would like to post more or let us know how you're doing. Staying connected can really help in tough times.  Best wishes to you.

  • Hey  , that sounds tough. 

    Getting diagnosed can be a shock to the system, like Bridalwhistle says, and it can take a while to sink in. But you sound like you could perhaps do with some help? I was listening to a wellbeing podcast and they had an episode on depression. They were saying it doesn't always manifest as doom and gloom, but can be a numbness too and not feeling any happiness*. I think it would be good to talk to a doctor about it, as if it's been going on for months, you might need help to get out of it. It would be great if you could get some talking therapy -as they will be able to help you pick through it -another thing that can make everything a bit distant is dissociation, so some one to help figure out what's effecting you would be good. 

    Take care of yourself, and just take it all one day at a time till you can feel more like yourself again, it can take time so don't rush yourself.

    *(The show was Complex with Kimberley Wilson, episode 'Are you depressed or just sad?'). 

  • The feeling of numbness can be an awfully common one. It does sound like your diagnosis could be an impact here. Maybe think about how that change and shock could make you feel? Because it can be a massive change with a new diagnosis, but where possible embracing it openly and kindly to yourself can be awfully powerful. 

    The back strachther sounds positive! It sounds like that physical sensation is very relieving. Maybe something similar could bring some relief too?