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Anxiety about imminent holiday

Alice-nice-Alice

Hi everyone 

We are going on holiday next week and my anxiety about it is accelerating. I used to be such a good traveller but nowadays the preparation, worrying about how to take all my things I need to deal with sensory and health problems, the uncertainty about the hotel, parking, and just being away from our home feels like its going to crush me. I know my wife needs this holiday and I want to do this for her, and will, but it will be so very difficult. We have cancelled two european holidays in the last twelve months primarily due to my anxiety around travelling and as I said, being away from all my safety things and spaces, and our cats, and my library. 

Im not particularly asking for advice, Ive done all the cbt, grounding, breathing stuff time and over et and cet. I just always struggle with these trips now and given at the moment we are in the final phases of selling my house it will probably be a most stressful time. 

Thanks for reading this

Alice

Parents

  • I really do "get this".

    Each part of it, all of it; is "a lot".

    I respect how clear your goal is - you are acting in support of your wife's need for next week's holiday.

    I was affected by your describing missing your library.  You doubtless know all the traveling / work around options ... however, I understand the melancholy wrench; of time away from your personal library.  On a brighter note: these days, I always pack an (empty) zipped waterproof wallet / book sleeve / ziplock freezer bag, large enough to accommodate a new book ...just in case; a new / old book were to leap into my ownership during time away from home!

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Morning Dormouse

    It made me feel incredibly validated reading your message this morning, thank you ever so much. Ive always tried my best to do my best, and crucially in friendships and relationships, but heck I doubt myself and at times do myself great harm. 

    Last night when H (wife) came home she filled me in on her day then listened calmly to my hysteria about solicitors and our estate agent. Her calm listening to these meltdowns are the most powerful expression of love I have experienced, other than, on a par, my late mum. 

    H doesn’t make many suggestions when Im so chaotic and extreme but does occasionally drop in a helpful idea. And last night’s idea was that I should try a certain otc med I keep in reserve which has me asleep in under five minutes 

    And sleep is for me the most healing this, it resets me, and I woke this morning to your kind message and one of my cats on the bed purring away. 

    We met late in life at a cat rescue centre where we were both volunteering and she, despite her own trauma is astonishing in her care for me. 

    Very best wishes 

    Alice xxx

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  • in reply to Deleted User

    Morning Dormouse

    It made me feel incredibly validated reading your message this morning, thank you ever so much. Ive always tried my best to do my best, and crucially in friendships and relationships, but heck I doubt myself and at times do myself great harm. 

    Last night when H (wife) came home she filled me in on her day then listened calmly to my hysteria about solicitors and our estate agent. Her calm listening to these meltdowns are the most powerful expression of love I have experienced, other than, on a par, my late mum. 

    H doesn’t make many suggestions when Im so chaotic and extreme but does occasionally drop in a helpful idea. And last night’s idea was that I should try a certain otc med I keep in reserve which has me asleep in under five minutes 

    And sleep is for me the most healing this, it resets me, and I woke this morning to your kind message and one of my cats on the bed purring away. 

    We met late in life at a cat rescue centre where we were both volunteering and she, despite her own trauma is astonishing in her care for me. 

    Very best wishes 

    Alice xxx

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