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Late Audhd diagnosis and big feelings!

Veb

So I finally pushed myself to get the assessments for adhd and autism that were recommended to me years previously. I felt validation and relief to learn I was diagnosed combined adhd (because I heavily resonated with, and experienced, all the traits).

I expected the adhd diagnosis. I didn't expect the autistic diagnosis to confirm I'm autistic too... and I'm feeling a lot of big feelings about it. Logically it makes sense when I go over the traits and behaviours (and the contrasting experience of AuDHD), but I'd spent so long focused on the adhd side of my experience that autism was always something others had... not me, so I'm struggling to align my sense of self with it being part of who I am. 

Feeling confused and emotional. Anyone else feel this, or have any suggestions how to work through the big feelings and gain some self acceptance?

Parents

  • I think I’m the reverse - I have an autism diagnosis and never considered ADHD - but then my eldest (who is autistic) got an adhd diagnosis last year and now I’m beginning to think I might have ADHd too. But to be honest I’m too exhausted to start the process of another assessment! 

    After I got my diagnosis of autism (which I did expect to get affirmed as both my children are autistic so I had long realised this about myself) it took a while to process it - even though I already knew I was autistic. It was strange, it felt strange. I think the best thing is to accept that it’s quite a gradual process to come to terms with a diagnosis like that - even months or years later it can still provoke mixed emotions and memories, and change how you see things, and how you see yourself. I think the best way is to ‘go with the flow of it’ - or as they say in Buddhism: ‘go as a river’. Give it time. Don’t grasp at any meaning or conclusions about it - just let whatever thoughts or emotions arise and be aware of them, and be curious about them, but don’t feel you have to be defined by them, or come to any fixed point of understanding regarding them. In general I think a diagnosis is affirming and feels mostly positive. That’s how I found it anyway - I wish I’d had it earlier - but better late than never! 
    Oh - and yes - as you say - ‘self acceptance’ - that’s the beautiful thing we need to aim for! And I think a diagnosis can be super helpful for that :) 

Reply

  • I think I’m the reverse - I have an autism diagnosis and never considered ADHD - but then my eldest (who is autistic) got an adhd diagnosis last year and now I’m beginning to think I might have ADHd too. But to be honest I’m too exhausted to start the process of another assessment! 

    After I got my diagnosis of autism (which I did expect to get affirmed as both my children are autistic so I had long realised this about myself) it took a while to process it - even though I already knew I was autistic. It was strange, it felt strange. I think the best thing is to accept that it’s quite a gradual process to come to terms with a diagnosis like that - even months or years later it can still provoke mixed emotions and memories, and change how you see things, and how you see yourself. I think the best way is to ‘go with the flow of it’ - or as they say in Buddhism: ‘go as a river’. Give it time. Don’t grasp at any meaning or conclusions about it - just let whatever thoughts or emotions arise and be aware of them, and be curious about them, but don’t feel you have to be defined by them, or come to any fixed point of understanding regarding them. In general I think a diagnosis is affirming and feels mostly positive. That’s how I found it anyway - I wish I’d had it earlier - but better late than never! 
    Oh - and yes - as you say - ‘self acceptance’ - that’s the beautiful thing we need to aim for! And I think a diagnosis can be super helpful for that :) 

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