I'm sorry, decided to share it here. I feel guilty. Guilty for not being diagnosed, but knowing about my autistic traits (this is tge only thing I'm sure, that I do have these autistic traits since early childhood). Guilty for claiming the label in order to belong. Guilty for seeking formal diagnosis, because I function too good in daily life. I can go somewhere alone, I can cook clean, do shopping etc. I feel disabled but I question if it's enough in comparison with many others. Then there are angry voices of people who struggle more, because of this "trend diagnosis". So I'm one of those who cause someone more pain and it makes me feel awful. Sometimes I would like to go back in time to the point before I found out about autism. I'm going crazy probably. I'm sorry, for sharing this. I heard an interview, where one psychologist said, that there are suddenly people seeking the diagnosis, people who wouldn't seek it 20 years ago. Ok, these people (most of them) are stuck in the system for decades with misdiagnosis. It's all messy and I need clarity. I feel bad, guilty, and confused.
