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Mixed thoughts and feelings.

Alien0n3arth

I'm sorry, decided to share it here. I feel guilty. Guilty for not being diagnosed,  but knowing about my autistic traits (this is tge only thing I'm sure, that I do have these autistic traits since early childhood). Guilty for claiming the label in order to belong. Guilty for seeking formal diagnosis,  because I function too good in daily life. I can go somewhere alone, I can cook clean, do shopping etc. I feel disabled but I question if it's enough in comparison with many others. Then there are angry voices of people who struggle more, because of this "trend diagnosis". So I'm one of those who cause someone more pain and it makes me feel awful. Sometimes I would like to go back in time to the point before I found out about autism. I'm going crazy probably. I'm sorry, for sharing this. I heard an interview,  where one psychologist said, that there are suddenly people seeking the diagnosis,  people who wouldn't seek it 20 years ago. Ok, these people (most of them) are stuck in the system for decades with misdiagnosis. It's all messy and I need clarity. I feel bad, guilty, and confused.

Parents

  • I understand how you feel, but I'll try to give you a different perspective.

    I'm not diagnosed but know about my autistic traits, and I joined here to get a sense of belonging. So should I feel guilty? I'm sure you would say I shouldn't, therefore neither do you.

    Other members here sought a diagnosis to give them clarity, even if like you they can work and function ok in daily life. They had a right to do this and so do you.

    People who are angry about the "trend" in diagnosis are usually misinformed, they do not realise that because autism wasn't understood until recent years, people weren't diagnosed who would be now, so diagnoses are obviously going to increase. You're not responsible for their lack of.knowledge.

    And yes, some people have been stuck with misdiagnosis for decades, so it's good that many people, including us, are starting to learn why we're different. 

Reply

  • I understand how you feel, but I'll try to give you a different perspective.

    I'm not diagnosed but know about my autistic traits, and I joined here to get a sense of belonging. So should I feel guilty? I'm sure you would say I shouldn't, therefore neither do you.

    Other members here sought a diagnosis to give them clarity, even if like you they can work and function ok in daily life. They had a right to do this and so do you.

    People who are angry about the "trend" in diagnosis are usually misinformed, they do not realise that because autism wasn't understood until recent years, people weren't diagnosed who would be now, so diagnoses are obviously going to increase. You're not responsible for their lack of.knowledge.

    And yes, some people have been stuck with misdiagnosis for decades, so it's good that many people, including us, are starting to learn why we're different. 

Children
  • in reply to Lotus

    Thank you for your answer. You definitely gave a different perspective and I don't want you or anyone else you feel guilty for wanting to belong or any other human need. I'm also stuck with wrong diagnoses- depression and tourette. I was multiple times hospitalised because I can't cope with the stress of daily life. Doctors didn't find anything in my heart or stomach so they called me hysterical and I finally ended up in psychiatry where I was given meds antidepressants and was told to think positively. Autism makes sense to me. Now I have a confirmed dates of my assessment but my therapist is trying to set it for me with another psychologist,  it's still not sure if they confirm. I would rather stick with the lady I already booked for autumn.