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17 year old son isolating, refusing help, and self-harming

N123

Hi everyone,

I’m new here and feeling quite overwhelmed, so I hope it’s okay to post.

My son is 17 and autistic. Over the past couple of years he has become increasingly isolated, he doesn’t go out, has no friends, and now says he can’t communicate with people because of his speech, so he avoids interaction as much as possible.

Recently he has started self-harming, which has really worried me. I’ve tried to seek professional help, but because he is over 16, services are saying he has to agree to it himself, and at the moment he is refusing any kind of support.

I feel very stuck. I don’t want to push him and risk him withdrawing further, but I’m also really concerned about his safety and how alone he is becoming.

I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through something similar with an older autistic teenager:

  • How did you support them when they didn’t want help?
  • Did anything help with communication difficulties at this stage?
  • Were there any services or approaches that worked for your family?

I’m also open to any suggestions on how to cope with this as a parent, as it’s been quite isolating.

Parents

  • Hi N123,


    I'm so sorry to hear that you're son has recently started self-harming.

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. If you’re finding it hard to cope or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help. If you feel you [or anyone else] is at risk of immediate harm, dial 999 or contact one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help.  

    If it’s not an emergency but you’re still struggling, speaking to a health professional can help. If your GP is closed, you can call 111 for NHS support. In England, Wales and Scotland, you can now choose option 2 to speak directly with mental health professionals: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/.  

    Other free, confidential support includes: 

    • Samaritans – Call 116 123, 24 hours a day 
    • SANEline – 0300 304 7000 (4.30-10.30pm daily)  
    • Shout – Text 85258, 24 hours a day 
    • Mind Infoline – 0300 123 3393 (Mon–Fri, 9am-6pm)  

    You may also find our page on self harm useful you can access this here:  Self-harm.

    Take care,

    Suzanne Mod

Reply

  • Hi N123,


    I'm so sorry to hear that you're son has recently started self-harming.

    The National Autistic Society does not currently operate a crisis or emergency service. If you’re finding it hard to cope or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help. If you feel you [or anyone else] is at risk of immediate harm, dial 999 or contact one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help.  

    If it’s not an emergency but you’re still struggling, speaking to a health professional can help. If your GP is closed, you can call 111 for NHS support. In England, Wales and Scotland, you can now choose option 2 to speak directly with mental health professionals: https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/.  

    Other free, confidential support includes: 

    • Samaritans – Call 116 123, 24 hours a day 
    • SANEline – 0300 304 7000 (4.30-10.30pm daily)  
    • Shout – Text 85258, 24 hours a day 
    • Mind Infoline – 0300 123 3393 (Mon–Fri, 9am-6pm)  

    You may also find our page on self harm useful you can access this here:  Self-harm.

    Take care,

    Suzanne Mod

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