• Replies 13 replies
  • Subscribers 12 subscribers
  • Views 362 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Bad messages

TheCatWoman

I went to try and find some sandals in our local shoe shop, they had loads, just none in my size, what made it worse was that the shop assistant told me "most" women don't wear a size 8 and certainly not open sandals. She showed me the few pairs they did have which looked like refugees from a Mar-a-Largo pool party, were white and had heels, which I don't want.

I feel so upset, it's brought back all the old messages about being to big to be a proper girl, I've been hearing this message for 50 years, half a centrury of being told I'm to big and then people wonder why women my size end up with eating disorders.

Then I went to the bank to send my daughter in law some money for her birthday only to be told banks don't do cash transfers anymore! WTF?

Parents
  • TheCatWoman said:
    I feel so upset, it's brought back all the old messages about being to big to be a proper girl

    From what you have posted here about your body shape, shoe size etc it does seem that you are a statistical outlier in the sizes used for the majority of womens clothes and shoes / wellies. 

    I don't think you can realistically change any of this and the fact remains that you are in the range that is not covered for most mainstream production for the reasons that they probably don't sell enough in those sizes / shapes / lengths to make it profitable for them to do so.

    You used to be a therapist so how would you encourage someone in your situation to approach their mental health and not feel victimised?

    The issue with the banks is a different one - it is all part of the push to going online with the mobile app so they can shut branches & layoff staff to save money. It is just business to them and you are experiencing the fallout.

    Likewise with your therapy experience, this isn't going to change  so how would you encourage a client to aproach a situation where they need to adapt of fall by the wayside and lose access to the service?

  • in reply to Iain

    Size 8 is a normal shoe size in the UK and has been for years, size 9 is no uncommon in womens shoes either. People are getting taller and bigger all round. According the the computer search a 31" inch inside leg is the most common length in UK womens clothes. I think a lot of it is prejudice and mixed with manufacturing abroad, espcially China, where they don't seem to know how to use a measuring tape or use a pattern.

    I was told not to advice clients on things, other than maybe to suggest they go to a GP or someone, my role was to reflect back to the client what they were telling me and hope to find some resolution and peace, not to solve all their problems for them. Personally I would not like to advise like you suggest when in a counselling role, nor would I welcome it if I was the client.

    You do seem to have the idea that because I was a counsellor 30 years ago, that I have the answer to every problem I come across?

Reply
  • in reply to Iain

    Size 8 is a normal shoe size in the UK and has been for years, size 9 is no uncommon in womens shoes either. People are getting taller and bigger all round. According the the computer search a 31" inch inside leg is the most common length in UK womens clothes. I think a lot of it is prejudice and mixed with manufacturing abroad, espcially China, where they don't seem to know how to use a measuring tape or use a pattern.

    I was told not to advice clients on things, other than maybe to suggest they go to a GP or someone, my role was to reflect back to the client what they were telling me and hope to find some resolution and peace, not to solve all their problems for them. Personally I would not like to advise like you suggest when in a counselling role, nor would I welcome it if I was the client.

    You do seem to have the idea that because I was a counsellor 30 years ago, that I have the answer to every problem I come across?

Children
No Data