I was diagnosed in early January. I'd been unconsciously identifying as autistic for my entire life, up until a year before my diagnosis, when I began consciously exploring what being autistic means to me. I thought I was fine with it. On the day I found out about my diagnosis, I actually thought it was funny. It wasn't "news" to anybody, least of all me. The occupational therapist who delivered the diagnosis was so gentle and anticipatory, like they were expecting a negative reaction. I just laughed and said "sorry if I can't pretend to be surprised". I now understand why they softened their tone. I was fine about it, until I wasn't.
After a high of vindication, the skill regression gradually crept into my life. I'd read about it, I'd heard about it, and I thought I was ready to beat it. I absolutely wasn't. After a month, I started to feel like 14-year-old me was back at the helm of my adult body. I've stabilised now, but I feel like I've lost myself. It took one person at work to point out how I'd "changed" since being diagnosed. It wasn't a critique, but sympathetic concern. They asked if I'd been offered any post-diagnosis support, and I burst into tears for the first time since receiving the news.
As far as post-diagnosis support, I've received resources to read, and recordings of post-diagnosis psychoeducation sessions, but they barely scratch the surface. They delve into theories, and ask you to consider which one(s) describe your situation best. They don't encourage you to discuss your story, and all the things you now know to have been influenced by autism in your life.
In anybody's experience, is it too early for me to consider professional help to work through my thoughts and feelings? Could you suggest anybody or anywhere I might turn to?
