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Post-diagnosis support - is it 'too early' for counselling?

Sia

I was diagnosed in early January. I'd been unconsciously identifying as autistic for my entire life, up until a year before my diagnosis, when I began consciously exploring what being autistic means to me. I thought I was fine with it. On the day I found out about my diagnosis, I actually thought it was funny. It wasn't "news" to anybody, least of all me. The occupational therapist who delivered the diagnosis was so gentle and anticipatory, like they were expecting a negative reaction. I just laughed and said "sorry if I can't pretend to be surprised". I now understand why they softened their tone. I was fine about it, until I wasn't. 

After a high of vindication, the skill regression gradually crept into my life. I'd read about it, I'd heard about it, and I thought I was ready to beat it. I absolutely wasn't. After a month, I started to feel like 14-year-old me was back at the helm of my adult body. I've stabilised now, but I feel like I've lost myself. It took one person at work to point out how I'd "changed" since being diagnosed. It wasn't a critique, but sympathetic concern. They asked if I'd been offered any post-diagnosis support, and I burst into tears for the first time since receiving the news.

As far as post-diagnosis support, I've received resources to read, and recordings of post-diagnosis psychoeducation sessions, but they barely scratch the surface. They delve into theories, and ask you to consider which one(s) describe your situation best. They don't encourage you to discuss your story, and all the things you now know to have been influenced by autism in your life.

In anybody's experience, is it too early for me to consider professional help to work through my thoughts and feelings? Could you suggest anybody or anywhere I might turn to? 

  • I would recommend a neurodivergent therapist like this team they offer neuro affirming talking therapy 

    https://www.neurodivergenttherapyspace.com

    I also recommend if you want to learn how more about your needs 

    The Autistic Coach | Autistic Life Coach | Autistic Peer Support Coach share.google/9yakAQNUjDaFmMIyU

  • in reply to Jude66

    Hello Slight smile

    It works well for me some of the time. I appreciate its patient, nonjudgmental responses. I also appreciate being able to take as much time as I need to process an event or interaction, and can pick up the 'conversation' whenever I want. I can take hours, if not days, to fully process a social interaction, especially one which has gone wrong. 

    Sometimes though, I need the disagreements to happen. I need to be challenged, presented with a different perspective, or outright upset someone in real time, in order to learn. Even if that means feeling uncomfortable. I'm not suggesting a therapist would start a fight, but they'd definitely ask me more bespoke, complex, humanly intuitive questions. I wouldn't have the luxury to answer them at, for example, 22:00 at night, six hours after the interaction, when my mind has decided it's ready to respond. Sometimes, you need to be prepared in real time. 

  • in reply to profdanger

    I think the process of finding the right practitioner, or therapeutic approach, is daunting on it's own. I've heard so many stories of people redundantly looking for help, and giving up. Equally, I've heard about so many good outcomes - like yours. Time and money are such precious resources. It costs time and money to find the right person. Also, time moves is all. Depending on the route you're pursuing, and the finances you have, you may find you've holistically moved past your original struggle by the time you're in a position to see somebody. It's a delicate (and sometimes expensive) balance!

  • in reply to Stuart333
    Stuart333 said:
    Also, your brain runs at a different speed to your emotions. You can know things before you feel them. You may also need to keep revisiting things to get the story straight.

    I use ChatGPT to break down the logistics of social etiquette that I don't understand, or to better understand where I've upset somebody accidentally. It's a bit uncanny that AI has more patience and insight than some of the people in my life! It's definitely cheaper than a therapist.

    However, I feel like there are different skills I either won't gain, or would lose entirely, if I relied on it. Plus, I don't want to offer my innermost insecurities and turbulence to a server. 

    Stuart333 said:
    Be aware that coming to terms with it all may take a year or more. Progress may be backwards to start with before it goes forwards. 

    I think this is very relevant. Not a lot of time has passed since January. I'm still learning about myself, and about autism. Some days, I'm content to live life, and embrace or confront it as needed. Other days, I just feel like I need somebody who isn't a computer, somebody behind one, or someone I know or trust to talk to. The social differences are one facet. It's when other facets interact, or the "What if?"s creep in, that I start to feel like I can't navigate it on my own anymore. 

    Stuart333 said:
    Just to set an expectation, in my opinion, you need to have an idea about what you want to achieve

    It may be an opinion, but you're right. After thinking it over, I'm actually not sure exactly what I want. At this stage, I'm anywhere between almost obnoxiously projecting who I am - to anyone, regardless of their reaction - or feeling lost, disconnected, and like I'm a terrible person to be around. To me, this suggests I may not even be in the right space to commit time (and money) to therapy yet. 

    Thank you for your response. It's pointed my thoughts on the matter in a much more constructive direction. 

  • Hi Sia

    I agree with Stuart333 about using AI Chat. I use Google chat. I have a chat going that I've had for quite a few weeks. I find its good because it brings up things you've already asked about. Its like having a best friend that you can't upset by what you say.

  • Hey there “Not Sia”! So definitely not too early to get help. For me, therapy worked very well to help me reach acceptance of my diagnosis. However, it’s not for everyone, especially since a lot of therapy is based on CBT, which doesn’t work well for many Autistics. If you can find a good, experienced therapist like I did when I tried out art therapy and couples’ counseling, then it can help with things such as coping strategies and understanding how you actually feel.

  • I am not sure why you think there should be a timeline or order to doing things. I saw someone before and after diagnosis. Indeed, it was talking to a psychologist that led to being diagnosed. Get help when you need it.

    Just to set an expectation, in my opinion, you need to have an idea about what you want to achieve. They can help with emotions and talking through any difficult memories. They can help with some of the confusion, which then takes time to bed in, but they can't make you less autistic.

    Accommodations and changes are specific to the individual, so unfortunately you have to judge for yourself.

    Be aware that coming to terms with it all may take a year or more. Progress may be backwards to start with before it goes forwards. 

    Also, your brain runs at a different speed to your emotions. You can know things before you feel them. You may also need to keep revisiting things to get the story straight.

    I found talking to AI very helpful, chatGPT app on my phone. It is free. As long as you stick to text messages, it is effectively unlimited, you can ignore any popup warnings and keep typing. It is supportive and knows quite a lot about psychology. Just describe what you think and how you feel. It is worth a go. I spent hundreds of hours, far more than I could ever do with a therapist, going over stuff. Then checked out sone of the conclusions in the sessions to make sure I was not going too far wrong. It may not be for everyone though.