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Stuck in life

Pancakepincher

. Im 42 have asd . And I just think my life is totally pointless . I have no friends at all , no partner . I dont see anyone day in day out apart from patients at work . I work on my own so no staff to be around either . I try to get to groups and other things but with work and the fact I have a 10 yr okd thats also asd its just impossible . All the things I find im either working or with him . He wont go to any groups or anything with others. We do the same every day and night and while hes at school I go to work . I hate where i live and I cant settle anywhere because noise is a massive issue for me so every time I move its just another bad choice as its always too noisey . I just reqlly cant see the point in existing , its so loanly and pointless

Parents

  • Hey, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. 

    It can be tough being a parent and working, as like you said your time is either one or the other and you don't have a lot of time for yourself in-between. 

    I think it's important to remember kids grow, so while you are feeling stuck with few options at the moment, in a few years, there might be more options -it'll be easier to do things with your child as they grow into a young adult and might start enjoying the same things, and when they grow you might be able to do more stuff yourself. In the mean time that is tricky.

    First off, please remember to speak to your doctor about depression if you need to, and there are always emergency lines if it gets very bad. 

    My kids were a bit stuck just playing Minecraft all the time as they are both really into it, but I decided to start making sure they remember they do like other things, and writing a routine together can be helpful for ASD families -we thought of some different things for after dinner time to do together, and assigned them a day. And I wrote it down as my son likes to refer to it. 

    Also if you can't get out, listening to podcasts while doing the washing up etc., it gives you some company and chatter.

    I think there are ways to make friends and join groups, but I know that can be tricky if it's you and your son, so you could keep them on the back burner as something to try when he's older?

    Giving yourself things to look forward to and improve your mood might really help too. And sometimes a little compromise -like my son 11, complains about going for a walk but if he's allowed to listen to music on some headphones from my phone, it's not so bad for him then and we get to get out the house! 

Reply

  • Hey, sorry to hear you are having a tough time. 

    It can be tough being a parent and working, as like you said your time is either one or the other and you don't have a lot of time for yourself in-between. 

    I think it's important to remember kids grow, so while you are feeling stuck with few options at the moment, in a few years, there might be more options -it'll be easier to do things with your child as they grow into a young adult and might start enjoying the same things, and when they grow you might be able to do more stuff yourself. In the mean time that is tricky.

    First off, please remember to speak to your doctor about depression if you need to, and there are always emergency lines if it gets very bad. 

    My kids were a bit stuck just playing Minecraft all the time as they are both really into it, but I decided to start making sure they remember they do like other things, and writing a routine together can be helpful for ASD families -we thought of some different things for after dinner time to do together, and assigned them a day. And I wrote it down as my son likes to refer to it. 

    Also if you can't get out, listening to podcasts while doing the washing up etc., it gives you some company and chatter.

    I think there are ways to make friends and join groups, but I know that can be tricky if it's you and your son, so you could keep them on the back burner as something to try when he's older?

    Giving yourself things to look forward to and improve your mood might really help too. And sometimes a little compromise -like my son 11, complains about going for a walk but if he's allowed to listen to music on some headphones from my phone, it's not so bad for him then and we get to get out the house! 

Children
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