I absolutely believe that if you do something wrong you have to be called out for it. I have been a past and present letdown so it is right for me to be called out on it. Yet, my head does get caught up in a mass amount of guilt and shame because of this as well as the bad names I get called for, notably that 'I am a parasite'. I also then get accused of being malevolent, that I do bad things because I want to, but that is not the case. I am not evil, I am just very stupid at times. I want to know how to be better, yet my head gets consumed by all the insults I have been given in the heat of the moment of being told off. I do not know how to compartmentalize, to learn from my mistakes and not let the name calling consume me. It makes my heart hurt, makes me want to shut down, and makes me want to hide.
