Stuck and terrified

After a mental breakdown and me going on meds, my therapist said I should be assessed for autism. And here I'm terrified of possibly receiving this diagnosis. I would like to join a support group,  for that I need the formal diagnosis. I'm also afraid of the group. I'm married, I have a child, a part time job, I'm seemingly too successful to be autistic.  I'm afraid of being hated by other members of the group for joining in, while I may seem, from someones perspective to not have any unusual struggles in life. I tried to find a trauma therapy,  but couldn't. My therapist said he doesn't think that the trauma therapy alone would help me. He said now the most important thing is the formal diagnosis.  I do need long term assistance from mental health professionals,  meds periodically, therapies etc. I'm lucky I didn't hurt myself over a week ago. Now im stable although I struggle with getting used to tge side effects. As someone here suggested,  I started writing a diary. Now im terrified of being possibly labeled autistic.  I'm also terrified of not receiving any help. Once I thought I would deserve a confirmation of my struggles, now my point if view evolved. Currently I'm waiting for information if the assessment would be done in our town or I have to find some other clinic outside. Or maybe give up all this... I don't know what to do. Has anyone felt this way before assessment?

Parents
  • What would be the worst thing that could happen if you were diagnosed as being autistic, something you've felt for all the time you've been here?

    Going to a group would scare me too, I'd worry about being judged for being older, female and not techy.

    Maybe your therapist want's you to have a diagnosis so it gives him indicators on how to help you best? As many here have experienced, not all therapies work so well for autists.

    It sounds like you're being ganged up on by "what if's", I think it's perfectly normal under the circumstances to over think and let the what if's have free reign, but I think you now need to round them up and put them back in thier place, ask yourself what if that thing didn't happen?

    I hope you get what you need from this nightmarish process you're going through, you've always seemed to me, a kind and thoughtful person from your posts on here, maybe it's time to turn some of that kindness onto yourself?

Reply
  • What would be the worst thing that could happen if you were diagnosed as being autistic, something you've felt for all the time you've been here?

    Going to a group would scare me too, I'd worry about being judged for being older, female and not techy.

    Maybe your therapist want's you to have a diagnosis so it gives him indicators on how to help you best? As many here have experienced, not all therapies work so well for autists.

    It sounds like you're being ganged up on by "what if's", I think it's perfectly normal under the circumstances to over think and let the what if's have free reign, but I think you now need to round them up and put them back in thier place, ask yourself what if that thing didn't happen?

    I hope you get what you need from this nightmarish process you're going through, you've always seemed to me, a kind and thoughtful person from your posts on here, maybe it's time to turn some of that kindness onto yourself?

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