Sense of Identity

I’m 64 and have been telling people about my recent autism diagnosis. So many of them have responded with - “it’s just the same you, but with a label”. Or “I think we’re all on the spectrum”. Or “ But you’re really confident and obviously high functioning.”

I am beginning to realise that nobody knows me at all. It wasn’t a surprise that I’m autistic but it is still a seismic shift for me to really see and feel myself fully unmasked for the first time. I feel like I am hyper aware of my autistic traits, feelings and responses. I didn’t feel like I was functioning well before (despite looking like I was to others), but I feel even less functioning now.

I think I need to know that other people have experienced and felt what I am experiencing and feeling. Anyone?

Parents
  • Hi 

    Congratulations on your diagnosis.

    I can relate!!

    Maybe your friends think they are helping you with their comments.

    It's almost like people around you are having a difficult time accepting you, if only a slightly different version in my case.

    At work I am trying to show the real me in small ways and it's already turned into teasing, "scaredy cat".. chicken, them doing a chicken imitation. It's tough but I don't want to keep hiding my true nature because I was putting myself in situations where I felt uncomfortable. 

    For me it's easier to put up with the taunts and be true to myself.

    It's a slow process for us and for those around us. 

    I am still discovering who I really am underneath all of the years of masking. It took a long time to put the wall up, but I've started to take that wall down brick by brick, I hope you can too.

    Sending warm wishes your way.

    (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

Reply
  • Hi 

    Congratulations on your diagnosis.

    I can relate!!

    Maybe your friends think they are helping you with their comments.

    It's almost like people around you are having a difficult time accepting you, if only a slightly different version in my case.

    At work I am trying to show the real me in small ways and it's already turned into teasing, "scaredy cat".. chicken, them doing a chicken imitation. It's tough but I don't want to keep hiding my true nature because I was putting myself in situations where I felt uncomfortable. 

    For me it's easier to put up with the taunts and be true to myself.

    It's a slow process for us and for those around us. 

    I am still discovering who I really am underneath all of the years of masking. It took a long time to put the wall up, but I've started to take that wall down brick by brick, I hope you can too.

    Sending warm wishes your way.

    (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

Children
No Data