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Bitter man

Doberkiin

I am 44, spent 25 years of my life as an alcoholic to make myself a NT servant. Long story short, got sober and psychoanalysed then was diagnosed with Autism. This obviously answered most questions in my life bla bla usual late diagnoses story. Been dry a while now and the only other feeling I feel then the normal "blank" is anger, real anger rage, it changes my whole body like nothing else does, it is quite intoxicating. I now have such a hated for the human civilisation for encouraging  me losing over half my life to alcohol and showing me the "life" I could of had if I was normal. Now literally everyone hates me (not an over exaggeration) now I am "myself" so I treat everyone as an enemy, the sight, sound and smell of a NT makes me rage. I am big, strong and as I do not feel anything I want to go on a NT purge and reshape this world.

I know it is bitterness but I am angry

Anyone else feel like this? 

Parents

  • I feel some resentment occasionally and amusement at weird NT ways. Occasionally I will feel anger but never to the level that you describe. You say it feels intoxicating so it sounds like the feelings it gives you are replacing some of what alcohol gave you. Living with this rage can only be harmful to you long term.  As Iain said, seeing a psychotherapist will help you to understand the feelings you have more. It sounds like maybe any negative feeling you have is turned into anger.

    The majority of NT people are just trying to get through life in the same way all of us are. They have their own problems and had no part in designing the world we live in and had no say in the type of brain they got at birth.

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  • I feel some resentment occasionally and amusement at weird NT ways. Occasionally I will feel anger but never to the level that you describe. You say it feels intoxicating so it sounds like the feelings it gives you are replacing some of what alcohol gave you. Living with this rage can only be harmful to you long term.  As Iain said, seeing a psychotherapist will help you to understand the feelings you have more. It sounds like maybe any negative feeling you have is turned into anger.

    The majority of NT people are just trying to get through life in the same way all of us are. They have their own problems and had no part in designing the world we live in and had no say in the type of brain they got at birth.

Children
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