• Replies 2 replies
  • Subscribers 5 subscribers
  • Views 52 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Bitter man

Doberkiin

I am 44, spent 25 years of my life as an alcoholic to make myself a NT servant. Long story short, got sober and psychoanalysed then was diagnosed with Autism. This obviously answered most questions in my life bla bla usual late diagnoses story. Been dry a while now and the only other feeling I feel then the normal "blank" is anger, real anger rage, it changes my whole body like nothing else does, it is quite intoxicating. I now have such a hated for the human civilisation for encouraging  me losing over half my life to alcohol and showing me the "life" I could of had if I was normal. Now literally everyone hates me (not an over exaggeration) now I am "myself" so I treat everyone as an enemy, the sight, sound and smell of a NT makes me rage. I am big, strong and as I do not feel anything I want to go on a NT purge and reshape this world.

I know it is bitterness but I am angry

Anyone else feel like this? 

Parents
  • Doberkiin said:
    the only other feeling I feel then the normal "blank" is anger, real anger rage

    I think what is happening here is that you have not learned how to connect with your emotioins very well yet.

    Anger and fear are the two most primitive emotions and the ones we can connect with most easily, but are both quite damaging. With some guidance you can learn to connect with other emotions, identify them and be able to articulate them so you can feel more human and less like a primal beast.

    My advice would be to get yourself a psychotherapist to work though this and any other issues you have - just make sure they have experience with helping autists.

    Doberkiin said:
    I am big, strong and as I do not feel anything I want to go on a NT purge and reshape this world.

    This route will result in you reshaping your prison cell most likely - I do not recommend letting this urge remain unchecked for your own sake.

    I went through a defferent path to you but there were similarities. My therapist showed me ways to cope and connect that made a huge, positive difference for me.

Reply
  • Doberkiin said:
    the only other feeling I feel then the normal "blank" is anger, real anger rage

    I think what is happening here is that you have not learned how to connect with your emotioins very well yet.

    Anger and fear are the two most primitive emotions and the ones we can connect with most easily, but are both quite damaging. With some guidance you can learn to connect with other emotions, identify them and be able to articulate them so you can feel more human and less like a primal beast.

    My advice would be to get yourself a psychotherapist to work though this and any other issues you have - just make sure they have experience with helping autists.

    Doberkiin said:
    I am big, strong and as I do not feel anything I want to go on a NT purge and reshape this world.

    This route will result in you reshaping your prison cell most likely - I do not recommend letting this urge remain unchecked for your own sake.

    I went through a defferent path to you but there were similarities. My therapist showed me ways to cope and connect that made a huge, positive difference for me.

Children
No Data