I am 44, spent 25 years of my life as an alcoholic to make myself a NT servant. Long story short, got sober and psychoanalysed then was diagnosed with Autism. This obviously answered most questions in my life bla bla usual late diagnoses story. Been dry a while now and the only other feeling I feel then the normal "blank" is anger, real anger rage, it changes my whole body like nothing else does, it is quite intoxicating. I now have such a hated for the human civilisation for encouraging me losing over half my life to alcohol and showing me the "life" I could of had if I was normal. Now literally everyone hates me (not an over exaggeration) now I am "myself" so I treat everyone as an enemy, the sight, sound and smell of a NT makes me rage. I am big, strong and as I do not feel anything I want to go on a NT purge and reshape this world.
I know it is bitterness but I am angry
Anyone else feel like this?