Suicidal ideation

I am diagnosed autistic and possibly ADD

I'm a really struggling with suicidal thoughts ideation all throughout the day everyday. I really really want to be dead and to end my life but somehow don't seem to be able to!! (Content removed by moderator)

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I live such a miserable zero quality of a life isolated and alone struggling with the people around me and the lack of support that I need as have been failed by the people that were supposed to help me being the mental health community treatment team and have actually decided to discharge me from their services and also social services that decided to have me arrested by the police for being autistic which I find has totally destroyed the trust I have between them and now choose to never want to engage with them again.

I struggle so much with life as in the past year I have had to have my dog put to sleep due to Illness which has absolutely broken me as I feel I have lost the only thing that could help me somewhat cope with this horrible life I live as he was my emotional support helping to regulate my emotions but I did still struggle and reached out to the mental health services which offered no help and actually made me worse which affected my behaviour effecting my dog having to witness my meltdowns which has made me literally hate them so I ultimately feel I am not at all willing to engage with them as they never helped me when I needed them and belittled me and blamed me for being autistic not understand how much I am struggling.

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Parents
  • I am sorry that you are feeling this way and struggling atm. It sounds like you want things to change in life. 

    A good first step might be to write down what life would look like if it was better for you. Try and make these as specific as possible. Then you could break them down into what would be the most important to you, i.e. rank them, then what ones you think would be easiest to haedest to achieve. You could then put down the barriers, i.e. things making them challenging and difficult for you to do. Then thinking / looking into what may make those challenges slightly easier, i.e. anxiety management / emotion regulation / sensory overload etc. You could then make some steps in how you might tackle each of your goals. This might make you feel a little more in control of life when things feel really overwhelming.

    Remember to be kind a compassionate toward yourself, it does make a slight difference. 

    Do sone reading aroubd your diagnosis / areas of challenges, as knowledge around these is good. Knowing what you are managing and why always makes it that little easier. 

Reply
  • I am sorry that you are feeling this way and struggling atm. It sounds like you want things to change in life. 

    A good first step might be to write down what life would look like if it was better for you. Try and make these as specific as possible. Then you could break them down into what would be the most important to you, i.e. rank them, then what ones you think would be easiest to haedest to achieve. You could then put down the barriers, i.e. things making them challenging and difficult for you to do. Then thinking / looking into what may make those challenges slightly easier, i.e. anxiety management / emotion regulation / sensory overload etc. You could then make some steps in how you might tackle each of your goals. This might make you feel a little more in control of life when things feel really overwhelming.

    Remember to be kind a compassionate toward yourself, it does make a slight difference. 

    Do sone reading aroubd your diagnosis / areas of challenges, as knowledge around these is good. Knowing what you are managing and why always makes it that little easier. 

Children
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