A book club - with a difference.

I've just read, 'Am I Normal: Understanding Your Place in a Complex World' by Dr Alex George. He has ADHD but this book is aimed at anyone who feels isolated or marginalised because of attitudes/ideas/things they question or want to tall about eg taboo subjects like death. He uses his experience to explain how many people are led to feel marginalised because of 'expected' attitudes, some of which are urban myths or very outdated - which clearly applies to ASD. I bought a copy for my social group because it is useful AND entertaining.

Dies he give any ideas on how to feel less marginalised by shoe shops not having anything in my size?

I guess he doesn't have that problem exactly but what he is saying is that everyone feels marginalized by something - and that 'something' is where we butt up against what is taken for normal in a particular society. It could be something like people not being allowed to cry loudly or scream at funerals, or expected to 'stay strong' when you have cancer. In other societies, it is acceptable to express strong emotions - and in fact is more healthy psychologically.

Perhaps you could look at your shoe issue another way (which is called 'reframing).' Perhaps your feet are a rare size, so of course you can't find anything - because shops only cater for the majority. And there is something to be quietly enjoyed in being different!

I did look at the prices and the prices I quoted were correct, it's all on the website.

I think you'll find they start at £150. Why not email for prices? My old flatmate in Oxford had his shoes handmade at £200 a pair (he had large feet) and said they were a dream to walk in. He sent a drawing of the outline of his feet with measurements and ordered through post.

Best thing about bespoke is you can have them repaired - they'll last years so are cost effective.  Could you ask friends and family to pool you birthday monies and buy you a pair?

I don't think otherwise you are going to get properly fitting footwear which is awful as it's so important for your foot health. If you are worried about emailing suppliers, I don't mind asking for you.

Thanks Marianne, but I couldn't afford nearly £500 for ready made, I didn't even dare look at bespoke.

Don't worry - it was meant to help - just another way of looking at this situation.

It's very difficult finding anything if you're not 'standard' - the only thing is to get a pair made for you. Click here - these are bespoke footwear makers in Wales.

You can call it any damn thing you like, rare, unusual, too big for a woman, but it dosen't change the fact that I can't get shoes that fit me and trudging around in wellies, when I can find some I can get my feet into, walking boots or winter boots for the summer, or conversely sandles in winter. I'm not trying to have a go at you Marianne, but when it's something practicle and real world like this "reframing" feel's insulting, undermining and like being told to shut and go away, just like the reaction I get in shoe shops. How do I find joy in this situation?

I agree with you about emotions though, I think us Brits are far too buttoned up.

You can call it any damn thing you like, rare, unusual, too big for a woman, but it dosen't change the fact that I can't get shoes that fit me and trudging around in wellies, when I can find some I can get my feet into, walking boots or winter boots for the summer, or conversely sandles in winter. I'm not trying to have a go at you Marianne, but when it's something practicle and real world like this "reframing" feel's insulting, undermining and like being told to shut and go away, just like the reaction I get in shoe shops. How do I find joy in this situation?

I agree with you about emotions though, I think us Brits are far too buttoned up.

I did look at the prices and the prices I quoted were correct, it's all on the website.

I think you'll find they start at £150. Why not email for prices? My old flatmate in Oxford had his shoes handmade at £200 a pair (he had large feet) and said they were a dream to walk in. He sent a drawing of the outline of his feet with measurements and ordered through post.

Best thing about bespoke is you can have them repaired - they'll last years so are cost effective.  Could you ask friends and family to pool you birthday monies and buy you a pair?

I don't think otherwise you are going to get properly fitting footwear which is awful as it's so important for your foot health. If you are worried about emailing suppliers, I don't mind asking for you.

Thanks Marianne, but I couldn't afford nearly £500 for ready made, I didn't even dare look at bespoke.

Don't worry - it was meant to help - just another way of looking at this situation.

It's very difficult finding anything if you're not 'standard' - the only thing is to get a pair made for you. Click here - these are bespoke footwear makers in Wales.