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Social Panic! What do I do?

WitchyPrincess06

I'm having a bit of a dilemma. One of my best friends has invited me round to her place for dinner tomorrow night as it would give us a chance to exchange presents in time before Christmas. But she’s also invited other people round, some I know but there's a couple I don’t know and it's kinda caught me off guard a little bit. 

You see, the last couple of years, We've normally just had a wee quiet night in with dinner and watching Xmas film. But it's totally different like with new people and it's gonna be like a small party or something which is setting off my social anxiety a little bit.

Because of that it's now me not that enthusiastic about going... and I feel absolutely horrible and guilty for feeling like that. But I still like I have to go as it may be the only opportunity/chance I have to exchange gifts in time for Christmas. I've been saying to myself that I'll go for dinner, exchange presents then see if I can last until maybe 9:00pm or 10:00pm (as I'm due to be there for 7:00pm) 

But I'm worried of how that'll look, am I a terrible friend for only wanting to try and leave early? Is it terrible that I'm excited about going? 

  • I really like Iain's response (will keep this for myself, too). I've never thought about it that way before. 

    In addition to this, you could say to your friend you have to be back before 'X' time, this gives you an escape plan. It's not perfect as the guilt is still there, but perhaps leaning into Iain's way of thinking could be the better long term solution. 

  • WitchyPrincess06 said:
    it's gonna be like a small party or something which is setting off my social anxiety a little bit.

    What I like to do is get curious - I wonder what they will be like, what can I ask them about, what things will I learn etc.

    By spinning it to a more positive take then it becomes something I look forward to and arrive in a better frame of mind to interact.

    Having time to do a little research on questions etc takes my mind off worrying about it in advance and because I have some material to work with when I'm there then I don't fear being unprepared.

    In the end it is a win-win. You enjoy yourself because you are already in a good head space, you learn stuff, meet new people and prove you can overcome your anxieties.

    It is just my way - it may not work for you.