• Replies 3 replies
  • Subscribers 3 subscribers
  • Views 52 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Navigating work anxiety while finding remote job to leave the UK? Trying to work out a way forward

CatsAreBeautiful

Hello,

Currently looking for advice. My situation is a little complex, so I’m going to try to distil it as much as possible.

I’m a 28-year-old woman who’s desperate to leave the UK not just for my mental health, but also to protect myself from the practical ramifications of a deteriorating sociopolitical climate that directly puts my human rights at risk, and makes finding employment already impossible.

Hence, I have a lot of anxiety at the prospects of working for a UK employer or having a job that requires me to stay in the UK, due to how oppressive UK culture is toward an ambitious, globally minded woman. British culture fundamentally punishes women like me, and with everything getting worse, not to mention my own struggles with isolation and making no progress I had to take decisive action to move forward in life.

I’m also autistic, with ADHD and cPTSD, caused by a difficult childhood, exacerbated by neglect from services, and having a toxic job unsuitable for my sensory needs, due to being failed by services. I’m also had to flee my abusive family soon after university, hence why I took the toxic job.

Unfortunately, due to all the trauma relating to my childhood abuse + fleeing DV meant I couldn’t properly transition from education into the workplace, which I’m still struggling with now.

I tried making money online, but ended up falling for scams (luckily no money lost)l

Existing disability advice and “Support” (ie. The Equality Act, which the “reasonable adjustments, Access to Work) is unfit for purpose or doesn’t go far enough. Think along the lines of “reasonable adjustments” drivel, where employers can easily say anything, they don’t want to do is “unreasonable” (even when it is). Likewise, the Access to Work scheme, which is being deliberately run down by the government, plus limits help to the UK anyway. Hence, it isn’t viable.

So despite what help exists for disabled people, given my ambitions, I am on my own.

All of this is why I gave up my council tenancy in March to pursue the digital nomad lifestyle. My intention was to travel around the UK first to adjust and address teething problems while volunteering in hostels (and other things), though it turns out my teething problems were much more serious than I realised.

I had to leave my volunteer placements. This is due to a combination of ableism from hosts, alongside legitimate issues that would have made it difficult for me to hold down roles. These roles included volunteering at hostels making beds, cleaning toilets, farm work.

I also did housesitting, which was successful, in part because I was looking after myself in a quiet environment.

The main issue was untreated Cptsd tiggers I’ve since gotten support for, alongside difficulty managing the sensory and social demands of jobs.

The conclusion I’ve taken from all this is that, going forward:

  • I know I’m a very process-oriented person and need to work in an environment where I won’t be disturbed and can be left to get on with things (also partly due to trauma). Ideally this would be a remote job, where I can fully control my environment
  • If I do anything that’s not that (ie. Teaching, shop assistant), it needs to be short-term and my only focus. It also must be paid, or at least where I cannot easily get kicked out
  • I’m unable to pursue freelancing now, like I wanted to, because I’m stuck in fight or flight mode due to the political climate, I’m struggling to self-direct consistently. Same with networking
  • I will need a bit more structure in advance of a future move, I cannot just wing it like I planned to before, to find the right environment

My current tentative plan is to return to the last city I lived in, land some work experience so I can get a work reference for a Masters application. With the UK set to rejoin Erasmus in 2027, I’ll hopefully be able to apply for financial support for a master’s degree in Europe. So, I have an end date, so I can get out of here, and finally have a life worth living. Although I would still like to travel earlier as much as possible, I’ll play it by ear.

In terms of getting work experience, what should I do next? And where can I get specific advice that’s informed for both disabilities, moving abroad and mental health? Any other things I should know? Staying in the UK is not an option.

Thanks!

Parents
  • CatsAreBeautiful said:
    In terms of getting work experience, what should I do next?

    What field do you work in or want to work in? This will shape a lot of the suggestions we can offer I think.

    When looking for remote work you wil almost certainly need a reasonable experience in the field so if you don't have it then this will be very limiting. I would recommend getting some office based experience first so you will be trusted enough by management to work remotely.

    IT is a field that I see shrinking as AI takes over more and more roles and this means a lot more competition from people who are laid off - one to avoid.

    CatsAreBeautiful said:
    I’ll hopefully be able to apply for financial support for a master’s degree in Europe

    Have you checked if such financial assistance is still offered post Brexit? I thought most of these had been shut down.

    You will also need a language skill to use in the country you travel to so this will limit your options.

    Sorry I'm not criticising here, just running through some thoughts that are relevant to your situation in case they can help.

    CatsAreBeautiful said:
    Staying in the UK is not an option.

    I've loved and worked in quite a lot of countries and I'm afraid they are little better than the UK. Many are much worse in fact. I would spend a great deal of time researching potential destinations before committing to any ot them as you will most likely find the politics there catches up to the UK standards soon plus you are at the added disadvantage of being an immigrant and will become the focus of right wing hate.

    In real terms there is far more support and protection for disabled people here than any other country I have worked in (Europe or South America).

    I try to think of politics like the weather - we are subject to it but it is beyond out control so all we can do is decide how to endure it. There is no Nirvana in another country where we are accepted and accommodated in the ideal way so it is better to find smarter ways to live within the system here.

    House sitting is a great idea for autists - thanks for bringing this up. 

    Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but I think it is relevant to your situation.

  • in reply to Iain
    Iain said:

    What field do you work in or want to work in? This will shape a lot of the suggestions we can offer I think.

    When looking for remote work you wil almost certainly need a reasonable experience in the field so if you don't have it then this will be very limiting. I would recommend getting some office based experience first so you will be trusted enough by management to work remotely.

    IT is a field that I see shrinking as AI takes over more and more roles and this means a lot more competition from people who are laid off - one to avoid.

    Ideally I want to work in content creation, copywriting, social media management and similar fields. I have experience for this online already with my portfolio, but I'm needing a stable job. Employers not wanting to trust remote-based workers with office work is their problem, not mine. I cannot work in an office full time otherwise i get overwhelmed, overstimulated and burnt out. If I do work in an office, it must be part of a hybrid role. 

    Employers not trusting people to work remotely is their problem, not mine. I know remote work is more competitive, but finding something is still doable. However, I fear due to the rise of AI and offshoring, I'll be forced to learn to cope working minimum wage jobs in hellish environments. so i'd be open to finding support in a workplace where i can learn the ropes and make mistakes without fearing i'l get kicked out. that's my biggest fear with employment.

    Do I force myself to learn to cope in jobs I can easily find? Or do I find jobs I know i can thrive in, despite being out fo work longer?

    Iain said:

    Have you checked if such financial assistance is still offered post Brexit? I thought most of these had been shut down.

    You will also need a language skill to use in the country you travel to so this will limit your options.

    Sorry I'm not criticising here, just running through some thoughts that are relevant to your situation in case they can help.

    This is very fair. Even with the UK outside of Erasmus, options did exist that UK citizens could apply for. I did research on this in the past, the reason I delayed a master's is to hope the UK rejoins and UK citizens will become eligible for more support, as the Erasmus masters loan.

    Ironically, Brexit led to more EU universities offering courses taught entirely in English. So there are more options open than people think. I was surprised upon researching it.

    I need to get work experience this year so I can obtain a professional reference for my Masters application for 2027 entry.

    Iain said:

    I've loved and worked in quite a lot of countries and I'm afraid they are little better than the UK. Many are much worse in fact. I would spend a great deal of time researching potential destinations before committing to any ot them as you will most likely find the politics there catches up to the UK standards soon plus you are at the added disadvantage of being an immigrant and will become the focus of right wing hate.

    In real terms there is far more support and protection for disabled people here than any other country I have worked in (Europe or South America).

    I try to think of politics like the weather - we are subject to it but it is beyond out control so all we can do is decide how to endure it. There is no Nirvana in another country where we are accepted and accommodated in the ideal way so it is better to find smarter ways to live within the system here.

    I already tried this. After almost 30 years of current oppression, abuse and negative judgement from most people, I mentally cannot cope with this country anymore. I did not mention this in the original post for privacy reasons, but I'm part of other marginalised groups being directly targeted by the UK government as part of their culture wars, which has been directly draining my mental health as I fear for my human rights and ability to live a decent life. This aspect is uniquely bad in the UK, only beaten by the US.

    That's what I mean when I say I have no choice but to leave. Moving abroad will not fix my issues by itself, but it will help by giving me the mental safety I need to no longer be stuck in fight or flight mode (thus triggering my cPTSD).

    Also claiming the UK is the best place to get support for things, including for disabled people (a form of British exceptionalism), alongside encouraging political apathy, is exactly the kind of attitude that's caused so many problems within. i know you mean well, but that mindset is rampant here, and I'm now mentally braving for you to tone police me as a result of saying this to you directly (British politics is another trigger for my complex ptsd for me).

Reply
  • in reply to Iain
    Iain said:

    What field do you work in or want to work in? This will shape a lot of the suggestions we can offer I think.

    When looking for remote work you wil almost certainly need a reasonable experience in the field so if you don't have it then this will be very limiting. I would recommend getting some office based experience first so you will be trusted enough by management to work remotely.

    IT is a field that I see shrinking as AI takes over more and more roles and this means a lot more competition from people who are laid off - one to avoid.

    Ideally I want to work in content creation, copywriting, social media management and similar fields. I have experience for this online already with my portfolio, but I'm needing a stable job. Employers not wanting to trust remote-based workers with office work is their problem, not mine. I cannot work in an office full time otherwise i get overwhelmed, overstimulated and burnt out. If I do work in an office, it must be part of a hybrid role. 

    Employers not trusting people to work remotely is their problem, not mine. I know remote work is more competitive, but finding something is still doable. However, I fear due to the rise of AI and offshoring, I'll be forced to learn to cope working minimum wage jobs in hellish environments. so i'd be open to finding support in a workplace where i can learn the ropes and make mistakes without fearing i'l get kicked out. that's my biggest fear with employment.

    Do I force myself to learn to cope in jobs I can easily find? Or do I find jobs I know i can thrive in, despite being out fo work longer?

    Iain said:

    Have you checked if such financial assistance is still offered post Brexit? I thought most of these had been shut down.

    You will also need a language skill to use in the country you travel to so this will limit your options.

    Sorry I'm not criticising here, just running through some thoughts that are relevant to your situation in case they can help.

    This is very fair. Even with the UK outside of Erasmus, options did exist that UK citizens could apply for. I did research on this in the past, the reason I delayed a master's is to hope the UK rejoins and UK citizens will become eligible for more support, as the Erasmus masters loan.

    Ironically, Brexit led to more EU universities offering courses taught entirely in English. So there are more options open than people think. I was surprised upon researching it.

    I need to get work experience this year so I can obtain a professional reference for my Masters application for 2027 entry.

    Iain said:

    I've loved and worked in quite a lot of countries and I'm afraid they are little better than the UK. Many are much worse in fact. I would spend a great deal of time researching potential destinations before committing to any ot them as you will most likely find the politics there catches up to the UK standards soon plus you are at the added disadvantage of being an immigrant and will become the focus of right wing hate.

    In real terms there is far more support and protection for disabled people here than any other country I have worked in (Europe or South America).

    I try to think of politics like the weather - we are subject to it but it is beyond out control so all we can do is decide how to endure it. There is no Nirvana in another country where we are accepted and accommodated in the ideal way so it is better to find smarter ways to live within the system here.

    I already tried this. After almost 30 years of current oppression, abuse and negative judgement from most people, I mentally cannot cope with this country anymore. I did not mention this in the original post for privacy reasons, but I'm part of other marginalised groups being directly targeted by the UK government as part of their culture wars, which has been directly draining my mental health as I fear for my human rights and ability to live a decent life. This aspect is uniquely bad in the UK, only beaten by the US.

    That's what I mean when I say I have no choice but to leave. Moving abroad will not fix my issues by itself, but it will help by giving me the mental safety I need to no longer be stuck in fight or flight mode (thus triggering my cPTSD).

    Also claiming the UK is the best place to get support for things, including for disabled people (a form of British exceptionalism), alongside encouraging political apathy, is exactly the kind of attitude that's caused so many problems within. i know you mean well, but that mindset is rampant here, and I'm now mentally braving for you to tone police me as a result of saying this to you directly (British politics is another trigger for my complex ptsd for me).

Children
No Data