older parent nightmare

looking for some advice here really hoping someone can help.  i was diagnosed recently.    my mother is 80 and doesnt live alone but is ringing me 3 times  a day.  if i dont answer she rings again, never leaves a message.  its driving me insane, she has nothing new to say and she is constantly wanting to know what ive been doing, where ive been, why i didnt answer the phone.  ive tried to politely say, ive already talked to you today but she doesnt care and then will say if thats how you feel i wont ever ring you again, to make me feel bad.  im an adult and im sick of having no privacy. its really affecting my mental health.  im always polite but i cant take much more of it.  how would you approach this.  she doesnt live alone so has company, i wouldnt mind but all she does is moan about people.  what would you do.  thanks

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  • i havent told her about my diagnosis, she has they typical sterotypical view of autism and wouldnt understand.  her behaviour isnt new but i guess it getting harder to deal with.  if i visit she moans about people and my dad while he is there.  if she rings and i dont answer she keeps ringing,  she wants control over everyone and if i try to ignore it she makes me feel guilty.