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older parent nightmare

NAS78944

looking for some advice here really hoping someone can help.  i was diagnosed recently.    my mother is 80 and doesnt live alone but is ringing me 3 times  a day.  if i dont answer she rings again, never leaves a message.  its driving me insane, she has nothing new to say and she is constantly wanting to know what ive been doing, where ive been, why i didnt answer the phone.  ive tried to politely say, ive already talked to you today but she doesnt care and then will say if thats how you feel i wont ever ring you again, to make me feel bad.  im an adult and im sick of having no privacy. its really affecting my mental health.  im always polite but i cant take much more of it.  how would you approach this.  she doesnt live alone so has company, i wouldnt mind but all she does is moan about people.  what would you do.  thanks

Parents

  • I think Stuart's solution is good, ignore but reassure at the same time. 

    Your situation sounds very tough, you definitely need to set boundaries for your own sanity, maybe even a set time they can call, as I would be at my wits end of I had to do that. (Thankfully I won't as my own mother had this from her mum and aunt and she won't ever can me now, it's all email).

    I get jumpy when my phone rings, and for a while I didn't even answer when I picked up, I waited till I heard if it read a machine message or human telemarketer, until I did it to the assessment people and realised how weird I was being. I am trying to at least say hello now. So I do feel for you!

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  • I think Stuart's solution is good, ignore but reassure at the same time. 

    Your situation sounds very tough, you definitely need to set boundaries for your own sanity, maybe even a set time they can call, as I would be at my wits end of I had to do that. (Thankfully I won't as my own mother had this from her mum and aunt and she won't ever can me now, it's all email).

    I get jumpy when my phone rings, and for a while I didn't even answer when I picked up, I waited till I heard if it read a machine message or human telemarketer, until I did it to the assessment people and realised how weird I was being. I am trying to at least say hello now. So I do feel for you!

Children
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