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Recieving counselling

Cinnabar_wing

I was just wanting to ask advice from people who have recieved counselling/therapy etc. 
How do you know if you might have hit a wall with it and if it's worth doing anymore?

For background, I've had 4 session with a counsellor since October, whom I got on her waiting list just before I decided to go ahead with my ASD assessment. Before I started I told her about being in the middle of being assessed so she knew my situation from that I had previously stated.

My last appointment with her, I told her I had been confirmed with ASD, and she got very concerned I don't over research and fall into developing 'new traits' just because I read about them.  I understand her concern as I had heard about some people getting post-diagnosis skills loss, but I don't have time for any of that and am a little scared of unmasking anyway as I saw what I was when I did the assessment and I don't think anyone wants me to be that.

I've booked an appointment with her for after christmas as I was too busy before, but now I don't know what to say next time? She asked some questions to satisfy herself at the start about why I thought I was autistic, but I've been more dealing with the other baggage like childhood bullying and work anxiety, and not so much the ASD problems I face.

Now I don't know if I should hide that side as I don't think she wants to know as she's concerned about me throwing everything away I think? Is this what it's like talking to people? Trying to open up was so hard, now it feels it's better to seal it all away again? Or is this something that has to be worked through?

Parents

  • I think you know about yourself and “developing new traits” is one of those inconsiderate terms similar to people assuming you are paranoid without any evidential basis, it’s basically a dismissive term about factual information that they are not interested in exploring. I would definitely suggest getting a new therapist and one that has experience with ASD. It sounds like your therapist has an agenda almost as she shouldn’t be interrogating you in that way. Maybe what you need isn’t a therapist perhaps it’s a life coach that specialises in ASD. A life coach is better if you’re not dealing with past pains in a deeply traumatic way. A life coach can help you navigate current social dilemmas , sometimes with neurotypical people these dilemmas are based on past experience but I think with ASD they’re more often based on the new experience - they’re always confusing it’s not held by trauma that we can’t assess and move past them it’s due to inability to assess what people are inferring etc. we learn from our past experience sure but it still doesn’t mean we are equipped to deal with new experiences accurately or that the new experience is directly similar to the past scenario. So it’s possibly more relative that you don’t need a therapist you may just need a life coach with good direction that helps you understand the current situation 

  • in reply to kiwipip

    Yeah, that makes sense too, I started as I needed to know why I had needed to leave my job, and a lot of that came down to discovering I'm autistic and in burn out in the end. 

    I would really like to be able to overcome some things, which are also down to autism, like getting a haircut which I've not been able to bring myself to do for 6 years, and has always been difficult. Now I understand the sensory issues involved and the social anxiety, (I didn't understand why I was so useless before), I might stand a chance with some help now.

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  • in reply to kiwipip

    Yeah, that makes sense too, I started as I needed to know why I had needed to leave my job, and a lot of that came down to discovering I'm autistic and in burn out in the end. 

    I would really like to be able to overcome some things, which are also down to autism, like getting a haircut which I've not been able to bring myself to do for 6 years, and has always been difficult. Now I understand the sensory issues involved and the social anxiety, (I didn't understand why I was so useless before), I might stand a chance with some help now.

Children
  • in reply to kiwipip

    All of this! I used to shut my eyes and then get comments about 'being sleepy', when I just didn't like anything on my face. I can see my sensory issues now, but I can't navigate phonecalls to find a 'new' one after moving here 8 years ago -I tried two near the beginning but wasn't comfortable enough to go back again. I need to do it for my kids though, at I've been cutting their hair too since the pandemic as I don't have a hairdresser to take them to.

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Yeah that makes sense it’s similar to why I started seeing one. Hairdressing I hate talking to them but luckily my hairdresser knows that and just lets me have a head massage and relax…. I can’t make small talk and a really don’t want to. I just used to say to them oooo I love getting a head massage it makes me fall asleep getting my hair cut… I think they got it in the end that I didn’t want to talk much but still like them. So they give me coffee and a biscuit and ask me how it looks at the end (don’t like that bit either haha) but it’s better than forced conversation for an hour