maybe one explanation for autistic people being gaslighted by neurotypicals

I have experience of this with my mother in law. I had always considered her to be quite a dishonest person as I often heard her giving versions of events that I knew for a fact to be completely untrue. The versions she gives are, of course, always weighted in her favour and used to justify her own actions. I did eventually come to the conclusion that it was actually not out and out lying in the strictest sense of the word because it became clear that she did, in a way, believe the version she gave. This is where the cognitive dissonance kicked in because the incorrect memory would always be part of making her the victim or hero of the story. Now, I know she had a relatively difficult childhood and still suffers the consequences of that, many, many years later. So, she has built this shield around herself to protect her from criticism. This is OK to a degree, but when it means that others in her orbit are negatively impacted, it becomes an issue and is a large part of the reason that I try to have as little to do with her as possible. Correcting her version of events never ends well so, on the whole, I let little things go. Other, bigger things though, when they impact on others, I don't let go and she doesn't like it one little bit. Mainly I assume, because she knows deep down that she is wrong and hates the illusion she is trying to cast, being shattered by facts. My wife pretty much lets her get away with most of the untruths, only very occasionally calling her out, so there is a lot of enabling going on. I often remind my wife, when she tells me something her mother has said, that just because she said it, doesn't make it true. I have heard so much untruth from her now that I have learnt to take every single thing she says with an extremely large pinch of salt.

There was a period when mother-in-law jokes were not politically incorrect.

If I wasn't so desperately keen not to hurt other people I would say "those were the days"!

I remember the days when "comedians" told a constant stream of "!jokes" about mothers in law, dolly birds and black people, I didn't find it funny then and I don't now either.

I remember the days when "comedians" told a constant stream of "!jokes" about mothers in law, dolly birds and black people, I didn't find it funny then and I don't now either.

Agreed, in this instance i am suggesting that for the sort of person described above some form of redress by ridicule and humour might "put then in their place" and prove cathartic for the people suffering by them.

I guess the tricky thing is that a joke that starts "My mother-in-law..." can quickly become offensive to all mother-in -laws.