maybe one explanation for autistic people being gaslighted by neurotypicals

Fawn Stress Response, and Monotropic Split that’s how they get you stay in control don’t let anyone take advantage of you, stop people pleasing and be yourself 

TRUTH! Its the secret Achilles heel of being autistic... we've never fit in, and so go to great lengths to be people-pleasers to fit in, and in the end, we're miserable for it. If there's one thing of value that's come from my formal diagnosis is that I see this SO CLEARLY now.  I have put boundaries up in my life now, and I am so much happier. I tell people all the time DO NOT LEAVE THE KEYS TO YOUR HAPPINESS IN SOMEONE ELSE'S POCKET. 

Gaslighting is real folks. Its taught to NT's and passed down... how to be manipulators... how to speak through both sides of their mouth... How to play the victim.  How to flip the script. I've journaled for years about this and now have no problem calling it out when I see it.

Learn to recognize your own needs and assert yourself in relationships and interactions. Communicate your boundaries clearly and without guilt. By valuing and respecting yourself, you send a powerful message that gaslighting (which is emotional abuse) will not be tolerated. There's a Jefferson Fisher Podcast - How to respond to Gaslighting that's a great start.

Not sure if you have a gaslighter in your life? Here's the list:

50 traits of gaslighting:

1. You often make them doubt their perceptions of reality. 
2. You dismiss their feelings as overly emotional or irrational. 
3. You frequently deny things you've said or done in the past. 
4. You tell them they're imagining things when they express a concern. 
5. You minimize their experiences by saying they're not a big deal. 
6. You change the topic whenever they bring up an issue. 
7. You keep them from talking to friends or family about your relationship. 
8. You accuse them of being too sensitive when they voice their feelings. 
9. You give them the silent treatment to manipulate them. 
10. You make them feel guilty for standing up for themselves. 
11. You often use sarcasm or jokes at their expense. 
12. You twist their words to make it seem like they said something different. 
13. You repeatedly tell them they're wrong about things they remember clearly. 
14. You blame them for problems in your relationship that aren't their fault. 
15. You refuse to acknowledge or apologize for your mistakes. 
16. You make them feel responsible for your emotional state. 
17. You tell them they're lucky to be with you implying they're not good enough. 
18. You invalidate their thoughts making them feel inferior. 
19. You frequently keep things in a state of confusion to maintain control. 
20. You shift the blame onto them when issues arise. 
21. You question their memory of events that are clearly defined. 
22. You use love as a tactic to control their behavior, like saying, if you loved me, you would... 
23. You withhold affection or approval to punish them. 
24. You make them feel like they owe you something emotionally. 
25. You frequently compare them unfavorably to others. 
26. You create a sense of dependency by undermining their confidence. 
27. You manipulate conversations to make them feel defensive. 
28. You gift them items but use the gesture as a means to keep them obligated to you. 
29. You isolate them from their support system. 
30. You insist that they are the problem even when it's clearly you. 
31. You present yourself as the victim when they address your behavior. 
32. You refuse to acknowledge their achievements or successes. 
33. You engage in behaviors that confuse them and then deny them. 
34. You provoke them into arguments and then accuse them of being argumentative. 
35. You threaten to leave or withhold love during conflicts. 
36. You keep essential information from them to create imbalance. 
37. You encourage them to question their sanity or judgment. 
38. You sulk or pout if you don't get your way. 
39. You tell them they should be grateful for what they have in the relationship. 
40. You strategically forget important dates or events that matter to them. 
41. You suggest they see a therapist to imply they're the one with issues. 
42. You frequently interrupt or talk over them during discussions. 
43. You engage in double standards when it comes to your behaviors. 
44. You assume you know what's best for them without listening. 
45. You paint a perfect picture of yourself to others while vilifying them. 
46. You gaslight them about their aspirations or dreams. 
47. You impose your needs over theirs, disregarding what they want. 
48. You tell them they're exaggerating or overreacting perpetually. 
49. You secretly set them up for failure and then blame them for falling short. 
50. You refuse to show vulnerability, always maintaining a facade of control. 

with all this gas no wonder there are global warming problems!

here's a problem tho' I read this list and see myself having done the same things...

oh sh1t something else to hate myself about... 

with all this gas no wonder there are global warming problems!

here's a problem tho' I read this list and see myself having done the same things...

oh sh1t something else to hate myself about...