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Meltdowns and depression

Xannah_M

Hey all.  I have been struggling more than usual lately.  I've always had issues with my mental health, had meltdowns and burnout episodes throughout my life. This was before I got my diagnosis, which I only finally got this year (I'm middle aged, for reference). I'm going through a rough time because of trying to push through at work, dealing with overwhelm, attempting to get accommodations now that I have my diagnosis, etc. I had a meltdown episode recently at work, and thankfully I was able to go into a room...away from people. However, I'm struggling. So exhausted. 

Having my diagnosis has been such an eyeopener for me and has answered so many questions. Unfortunately, it doesn't mean that life would become simpler, which I am sure most of us know well. 

Anyway, just thought I'd sure because, to be completely honest, people around me just "don't get it" or they unintentionally invalidate me. This fact makes my experiences even more isolating.

Parents

  • Yes, understood  

    What Dr Damian Milton calls the double empathy problem between neurodiverse and neurotypical might explain what you are experiencing.  By it's nature possibly come up with strategies for dealing with it.  However idealistically at the moment there is little shift in neurotypical empathy towards autistic people except that hard won by individuals and that's not easy to do for oneself when at rock bottom.  Maybe there is some sort of advocate you could get on your side to help...  I am at that point myself however they are hard to find and also it is hard to admit to oneself that despite society saying to you you're on your own in this just get on with it you might really need it.

    I would put this sort of acknowledgement in a third empathy bracket myself - that autistic people struggle to empathise with themselves because they have been living to unrealistic expectations of themself pre AND post diagnosis.

    Best wishes

  • in reply to Phased
    Phased said:
    a third empathy bracket myself - that autistic people struggle to empathise with themselves because they have been living to unrealistic expectations of themself pre AND post diagnosis.

    Wow, yes, I think this is definitely a thing for some. If I coped at one point, why am I finding it so hard now? (Is this denial of burnout?)

    I would definitely have this 

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Masking from oneself means one doesn't know oneself perhaps?

    Difficult to self-empathise under those circumstances.

    Denial of how close to the edge of the operating window one might be and indeed if one is out of it I certainly found to be problematic, and still do.

    Once you get used to spotting it there are lots of other people doing the same thing NT and ND alike... I suspect that you already know this  

    These people are difficult to reason with and in my opinion a little dangerous to be in close proximity to.

    I find now that their behaviour can be somewhat contagious or at the least distressing as one is called upon to increase self control - when already masking this can sometimes appear to be an easy process however if one is already close to over the edge of the operating window...

    There is also the risk of collateral damage - especially as being autistic one can find oneself out of social capability range and/or even blamed for the other persons distress.

    Coping is not an ideal state to be in for too long I suggest.  Certainly not for prolonged periods.  Consider perhaps that some plants can "cope with" prolonged periods of drought and later flourish when the weather is right for them.  If the rain never comes then...

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  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Masking from oneself means one doesn't know oneself perhaps?

    Difficult to self-empathise under those circumstances.

    Denial of how close to the edge of the operating window one might be and indeed if one is out of it I certainly found to be problematic, and still do.

    Once you get used to spotting it there are lots of other people doing the same thing NT and ND alike... I suspect that you already know this  

    These people are difficult to reason with and in my opinion a little dangerous to be in close proximity to.

    I find now that their behaviour can be somewhat contagious or at the least distressing as one is called upon to increase self control - when already masking this can sometimes appear to be an easy process however if one is already close to over the edge of the operating window...

    There is also the risk of collateral damage - especially as being autistic one can find oneself out of social capability range and/or even blamed for the other persons distress.

    Coping is not an ideal state to be in for too long I suggest.  Certainly not for prolonged periods.  Consider perhaps that some plants can "cope with" prolonged periods of drought and later flourish when the weather is right for them.  If the rain never comes then...

Children
  • in reply to Phased
    Phased said:
    Coping is not an ideal state to be in for too long I suggest.  Certainly not for prolonged periods.  Consider perhaps that some plants can "cope with" prolonged periods of drought and later flourish when the weather is right for them.  If the rain never comes then...

    Correct. Coping long term is not an ideal situation.