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Family making fun

Alien0n3arth

My family members still laugh at me, my autoagression, I had issues with as a kid and teenager. Sometimes I dream of switching my phone number without letting them know. But they know where I live. My mom interrupts me and corrects me whenever I have an opinion different than hers. My duty is always having the same opinion as her. Then she can say with a wide smile, that im exactly like her and we understand each other perfectly.  No, it's far from truth. My issue with her is also that I have no chance in any discussion becauseof the processing speed. I'm basically much slower than her. In fact it's only around maybe 10 years ago, that I realised that I can form my own opinion and also say it out loud, it's still challenging for me. I was blocked my entire childhood and youth. Now, whenever I say something that does not fit with my mom's opinion,  I'm being difficult,  or I'm basically wrong or sheis very much amazed, when the change in me occurred. I have no power and no idea how to deal with them. I also feel like I have no personality.  I'm sorry for thispost, if anyone knows how to deal, or has similar experience, can answer. I will be grateful. 

Parents

  • It’s difficult with family members because it’s very hard to distance yourself from them. I am very lucky to have my parents so I realise that must be tough for you. 
    I suppose it could be a control thing and don’t actually know they are doing it but it’s sad that it is making you feel the way you describe.

    I have two people in my life that heavily criticise me, pull me up on my choice of words and mould my opinions. I don’t like conflict or confrontation so usually I let them have their victory. 

    My therapists advice to me is I need some boundaries in place but as you mention it’s hard to process things quickly enough to respond in the right way. 

    Maybe you could make notes of responses to the common interactions that leave you feeling this way so your ready to respond? 

    Someone in the family was extremely rude to me once in a completely unprovoked drunken attack. They told me everything I wasn’t and what I would never be, my partner was in that room as well and offered little support. I spent 2-3 weeks going over that night until I picked up the phone and told that person they will never speak to me in that way again. It is quite amusing how that person still brings up me making that call 11 years later and tells me how I misinterpreted the comments.

    Some people just can’t be wrong even if they are wrong. 

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  • It’s difficult with family members because it’s very hard to distance yourself from them. I am very lucky to have my parents so I realise that must be tough for you. 
    I suppose it could be a control thing and don’t actually know they are doing it but it’s sad that it is making you feel the way you describe.

    I have two people in my life that heavily criticise me, pull me up on my choice of words and mould my opinions. I don’t like conflict or confrontation so usually I let them have their victory. 

    My therapists advice to me is I need some boundaries in place but as you mention it’s hard to process things quickly enough to respond in the right way. 

    Maybe you could make notes of responses to the common interactions that leave you feeling this way so your ready to respond? 

    Someone in the family was extremely rude to me once in a completely unprovoked drunken attack. They told me everything I wasn’t and what I would never be, my partner was in that room as well and offered little support. I spent 2-3 weeks going over that night until I picked up the phone and told that person they will never speak to me in that way again. It is quite amusing how that person still brings up me making that call 11 years later and tells me how I misinterpreted the comments.

    Some people just can’t be wrong even if they are wrong. 

Children
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