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I can't focus

NAS71232

I've been told I'm autistic and have ADHD.

The other day, my mother told me the greengrocers asked her if I was autistic. I try to act normal, but I've had major head injuries and I can't focus on anything. It's getting worse as I age.

I don't understand autism and I really should try to study it. There are autistic people that can't function day to day and then there are autists that are CEOs of companies.

I don't know what my future is. I can see why people like me idealise suicide. 

I can do this if I had my own place. My mind goes around in circles. I wish I could just eventually live on my own and keep myself to myself. I'm not sure how to do that yet. I can't live in shared accommodation. I'm looking after my mother atm. She has carers and is well looked after. I look after her inbetween the two daily carer visits. I will always be there for her 100%. 

I have to prove read my posts on forums many times before submitting. 

I have ailments and I'm not well. I'm not sure if I should post this. I thought I'd share.

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  • NAS71232 said:
    I don't understand autism and I really should try to study it.

    This book may help as it is written in a way to easily dip in and out of so should work with your ADHD and short focus length.

    Autism For Dummies (2025) - ISBN 9781394301003 (paberback); ISBN 9781394301027 (ebook)

    NAS71232 said:
    I don't know what my future is

    It will respond a great deal to the work you put in to develop yourself. You may find that speaking to your GP about your issues of focus could mean you find medication that can help a lot with this, or you may find some form of meditation helps you develop stronger mental discipline to combat the ADHD.

    Taking control as much as we realistically can is the way I have seem people improve their options. It is a lot of hard work but without it nothing is likely to do it for you.

    Starting things like studying your autism and ADHD now should help. Work out how to make space for yourself and the time to do this in blocks of maybe half an hour several times a day and before you know it you will have read the whole book and will be ready to research more specific topics that are relevant to you.

    I get the desire to have your own place but don't wait - we are all too prone to procrastinate about difficult things so break those shackles and start as soon as you are able.

    NAS71232 said:
    I have to prove read my posts on forums many times before submitting. 

    This is just a lack of confidence - keep at it and over time you will get over this from repeated application of your writing skills.

    I would recommend keeping a journal of your progress so you can look back when plagued by self doubt and see how much you have done, how much you have learned and the positive changes you have made to your life. It is a powerful motivator.

  • in reply to Iain

    Thank you. I wish the adult that tried to kill me when I was a kid finished the job, but someone intervened way too late.The damage was done. I'm surprised I'm still here posting.

    I should be dead. Now he has left me like this for nothing. He tried to kill another kid in the park a week before and that kid now has a permanent speech impairment. That's what the police told us a week after when they questioned us. 

    The man double foot stamped on childrens heads and no one dared to stop him. Over and over. I'm cooked. I can't have a girlfriend or any friends at all. 

    And then there is the autisum and ADHD. That's not good.   

  • in reply to NAS71232
    NAS71232 said:
    I should be dead

    But you lived. You are clearly intelligent and articulate as you are writing well structured posts and talking about things that are important to you.

    This is a good base to start from - it is far from ideal but you have something to work with.

    If you have the will then we can help you with a way to pull yourself up and use your potential.

    That is if you want - you will find support and encouragement in this community if you want it.

  • in reply to Iain

    Thanks Iain,

    I'm positive that I have sustained several brain injuries on top of everything undiagnosed. I'll push to make my GP understand.

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